Hateful words stand no chance against self-worth and a little of humor. — Iskra Lawrence Copy Share Image
“I wish someone had just told me the truth right up front, as soon as I was old enough to understand it.… — Ernest Cline Copy Share Image
You know, I'm Australian, and we have got the worst sense of humor. We are cruel to each other. — Steve Irwin Copy Share Image
The only award I've been nominated for is a Scottish BAFTA. A Scottish BAFTA, it's like hearing that the animals have their… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
“He stripped to his trunks, then dove into the pool. We all watched as he broke the surface and climbed from the… — Lee Nichols Copy Share Image
“To do is to be – Aristotle To be or not to be – Shakespeare To be is to do – Jean-Paul… — Alannah Foley Copy Share Image
When your talking Malus domesticas' versus hesperidiums',your just compairing apples to oranges. — Graydon Archer Copy Share Image
“It's really hard to be roomates with people if your suitcases are much better than theirs--if yours are the really good ones… — J.D. Salinger Copy Share Image
“If I wanted to consume something that looks and tastes like dirt, I’d eat dirt,” I said, “at least dirt isn’t overpriced."… — Garrison Kelly Copy Share Image
“I was about to rush out the door when I realized that I’d be stealing his clothes. Frantically thinking of some quick… — Priscilla West Copy Share Image
I'm not a quick wit. I'm only funny on paper. I mean, I'm not totally humorless! It's just that in person, I'm… — Mary Roach Copy Share Image
I haven't been offstage for more than two days since I started doing comedy. — Tony Rock Copy Share Image
I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out… — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
“The Bloodsucker Queen has lived for what, a millennium? She can wait on her decaying ass a little while longer.” — Heather Heffner Copy Share Image
T20 is generally the fun side of cricket. You've got to have a sense of humour. Some days you can turn up… — Ben Stokes Copy Share Image
“When had his life turned into a porn version of a James Bond movie?” — Carla Swafford Copy Share Image
“The poet is a faker / Who's so good at his act / He even fakes the pain / Of pain he feels in fact.” — Fernando Pessoa Copy Share Image
When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in India last summer, I was… — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
“How was practice?" Shawna asked when Jet walked into the kitchen. "You must've worked hard again, you smell like a wet puppy."… — Robin Alexander Copy Share Image
'Rubberneck' has nothing to do with comedy, nor does it follow comedic people. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“To think that between a Hamburger and a Humburger, she would - invariably, with icy precision - plump for the former.” — Vladimir Nabokov Copy Share Image
“Barbara Stanwyck, in particular, was peerless in everything from high and low comedy to drama to musicals to film noir. She never… — Eve Golden Copy Share Image
“Yeah, I'm over forty, flighty, and fluffy- I'd say I'm not ideal bouncer material.” — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
“I’m not sitting back here with another dude while there are two perfectly doable females in the car.” — Nicki Elson Copy Share Image
I needed to be more self-determining, and the most self-determining thing you can do in comedy is stand-up. — Neal Brennan Copy Share Image
Everyone says that I have no sense of humor, then I construct a perfectly sound pun around a well-known psychological condition, and… — Eoin Colfer Copy Share Image
“What? You mean sex is a subject? That's something common even to a rat, in fact a rat exercise it at least… — Newton Omido Copy Share Image
The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
Enos Cabell started out here with the Astros, and before that he was with the Orioles. — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
“I'm sorry, but -I'm sorry !' I yelped and skipped backward as Gorg advanced on me. 'You were given bad information. Probably… — Adam Rex Copy Share Image
“If we adopted Jack," I quip, "we'd have to give him combat pay for an allowance” — Daven Anderson Copy Share Image
Some say that laughter is the best medicine, Obviously they have yet to try medicine. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Just because I like to suck cock doesn't make me any less American than Jesse Helms.” — Allen Ginsberg Copy Share Image
