“donut can give you the kind of hug from inside that celery just can’t muster.” — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
I never ever, ever say anything against my husband to anyone except my husband. Everyone gets in fights, and I think the… — Jen Lancaster Bother Copy Share Image
Despite my best efforts, I'm not quite perfect. Let's just say I'm like one of those Hopi blankets where they leave a… — Jen Lancaster Affront Copy Share Image
Fletch then kisses me on the forehead before opening the cabinet under the coffeemaker to grab placemats and napkins. Retrieving these items… — Jen Lancaster Cabinets Copy Share Image
“If I were a lesbian and had a thing for narcissistic ex-sorority girls? I’d totally do me." Bitter is the New Black:… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
“I feel like my takeaway from tonight is that it's okay to love shitty television, provided that you make an effort to… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
You know what it was like? It was like thinking I was heading to a surprise party and instead it was a… — Jen Lancaster Fitness Copy Share Image
“But there's always a chance she's hiding a flask and a Nixon-esque Enemies List in her pinafore apron, which is exactly why… — Jen Lancaster Friendship Copy Share Image
“Cost to clean deeply soiled rugs: $200. Cost to replace shiny, black, stack-heeled, pilgrim-toed boots: $185. Cost to fix every single delicious… — Jen Lancaster Humor Copy Share Image
“I love the French and Italian church paintings from the Middle Ages. But I'm also interested to learn more about who was… — Jen Lancaster Art Copy Share Image
“You know why I love HGTV? It's not just that I get a peek into other people's lives. It's that everyone's always… — Jen Lancaster End result Copy Share Image
I yearn to be a woman of more depth, but I'm not so fond of the path I'd need to follow to… — Jen Lancaster Depth Copy Share Image
I never sleep on the plane. I have to be awake and using my mind power to keep it in the air — Jen Lancaster Air Copy Share Image
“Yeah, I'm over forty, flighty, and fluffy- I'd say I'm not ideal bouncer material.” — Jen Lancaster Humor Copy Share Image
When did the cell phone become a license to be rude? And why must I be subjected to your personal conversations? — Jen Lancaster Cell phone Copy Share Image
Fortunately, all it takes for us to be of one mind is some buttercream frosting. — Jen Lancaster Mind Copy Share Image
The living room is a monument to my impulsive spending habits. I've got more than two hundred DVDs, including cinematic greats such… — Jen Lancaster Accounts Copy Share Image
“You know what? We need a recession in this country, because that would finaly weed out al the subnormal, underdeveloped, stupefied, puerile… — Jen Lancaster Bitter Copy Share Image
I think people tend to be very myopic and they don't understand how their actions impact others. — Jen Lancaster Actions Copy Share Image
Seriously, our nation is never going to be on the same page on issues like gun control, welfare, the economy, the environment,… — Jen Lancaster Doubt Copy Share Image
Really? If I could hate my trainer? That would be ideal. I'd prefer to despise this person with the fire of ten… — Jen Lancaster Bus Copy Share Image
Over the summer we chatted one night while Angie stripped a bed, changed wet sheets, comforted and repajamaed a toddler, and chased… — Jen Lancaster Bed Copy Share Image
I don't care how happily married you are or how deeply enmeshed you are with your children and family and career --… — Jen Lancaster Break Copy Share Image
“Life is unfair and there are winners and losers, regardless of how much overprotective parents attempt to shield their offspring from reality.” — Jen Lancaster Life Copy Share Image
