Amen,' I exclaim, accidentally spitting out a Raisinet. I pick up the chocolate with a Kleenex and stuff it in my purse.… — Jen Lancaster Amen Copy Share Image
I think people tend to be very myopic and they dont understand how their actions impact others. — Jen Lancaster Action Copy Share Image
This is terrific! What fun! Maybe tomorrow I can go to the prom with my brother. The day after, perhaps I can… — Jen Lancaster Brother Copy Share Image
“I would rather receive a Pap smear from Captain Hook than venture out in New Year's Eve.” — Jen Lancaster Year'S Eve Copy Share Image
I’m busy sorting through our new collection of rhinestone jewelry. Should anyone be in the market for sparkly accessories the size of… — Jen Lancaster Accessories Copy Share Image
“Presently, Mary Mac—that’s what we call her for short—has churned out more kids than I can count. It’s like she’s a hoarder,… — Jen Lancaster Children Copy Share Image
I can't believe anyone would voluntarily run 26 miles. Sometimes I sit on the couch cross-legged because I don't feel like walking… — Jen Lancaster Bathroom Copy Share Image
“If you're anorexic, you're doing it wrong." I swat him with a dish towel. "No, no, I mean anorexics look in the… — Jen Lancaster Hair and makeup Copy Share Image
I'm very detail oriented. I think that's why people enjoy my memoirs - because I tend to remember everything. — Jen Lancaster Details Copy Share Image
As a reader, I notice political views regardless of whether or not the book is fiction. What annoys me is when said… — Jen Lancaster Annoying Copy Share Image
I would rather receive a Pap smear from Captain Hook than venture out on New Year's Eve. — Jen Lancaster Captains Copy Share Image
“But ever since I made the decision to drop a few pounds-way less easy than it sounds, by the way-I've become obsessed… — Jen Lancaster Humor Copy Share Image
“...Ever since I made the decision to drop a few pounds—way less easy than it sounds, by the way—I’ve become obsessed with… — Jen Lancaster Humor Copy Share Image
“Actually, I believe there are only two kinds of women in this world: Martha people and Oprah people. That doesn’t mean one… — Jen Lancaster Humor Copy Share Image
“Fletch is back from Austin, and turns out what sounded great on paper didn't match up to reality. He says its so… — Jen Lancaster Humor Copy Share Image
I'm the person who says every single thing she thinks, sometimes to others' amusement, and almost always to my detriment. — Jen Lancaster Amusement Copy Share Image
When I hug her, I notice she's still wearing yesterday's false eyelashes. Mom? You know those come off with a little makeup… — Jen Lancaster Cotton Copy Share Image
“What's funny is the act of cleaning out my desk takes an hour, yet I've been dreading it for so many damn… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
I'm such a fangirl when it comes to other writers. I read 250 books a year, and I'm always talking up books… — Jen Lancaster Book Copy Share Image
As I examine my life through this book, I can't help but wonder if my mother was right. Maybe I really was… — Jen Lancaster Book Copy Share Image
Point? Maybe you aren't a Carrie or a Samantha or a Charlotte or a Miranda. Maybe you're just you. — Jen Lancaster Charlotte Copy Share Image
“Hell hath no fury like a middle-aged woman in a fuzzy pink robe, hopped up on a winning combination of allergy medicine,… — Jen Lancaster Anger Copy Share Image
