“Hell hath no fury like a middle-aged woman in a fuzzy pink robe, hopped up on a winning combination of allergy medicine,… — Jen Lancaster Anger Copy Share Image
“What's funny is the act of cleaning out my desk takes an hour, yet I've been dreading it for so many damn… — Jen Lancaster Time wasted Copy Share Image
“You know what? We need a recession in this country, because that would finaly weed out al the subnormal, underdeveloped, stupefied, puerile… — Jen Lancaster Bitter Copy Share Image
Despite my best efforts, I'm not quite perfect. Let's just say I'm like one of those Hopi blankets where they leave a… — Jen Lancaster Affront Copy Share Image
Fletch then kisses me on the forehead before opening the cabinet under the coffeemaker to grab placemats and napkins. Retrieving these items… — Jen Lancaster Cabinets Copy Share Image
“I mean, six years ago my electricity's being cut off and my car's getting repossessed and I'm being evicted from my apartment,… — Jen Lancaster Evicted Copy Share Image
I don't mean to get all religious here, but I'm pretty sure key lime martinis (with a graham cracker & sugar rim)… — Jen Lancaster Crackers Copy Share Image
I've determined the ideal job for me is one where I can write clever essays about my life and my employer will… — Jen Lancaster Clever Copy Share Image
Over the summer we chatted one night while Angie stripped a bed, changed wet sheets, comforted and repajamaed a toddler, and chased… — Jen Lancaster Bed Copy Share Image
“With two pit bulls in the house, we have a responsibility to make sure they’re always under control. I mean, we’re well… — Jen Lancaster Animal Copy Share Image
“In Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand stated that there's no such thing as real altruism. She espoused the principle of ethical egotism, meaning… — Jen Lancaster Generosity Copy Share Image
“I stuff another handful of Raisinets in my mouth. What gets me is the 'pretty face' bit. 'Cause I won't mind being… — Jen Lancaster Funny Copy Share Image
“Everyday I feel more and more like a full-fledged adult. Even though it was (metaphorically) only yesterday I was sloshing in the… — Jen Lancaster Adult Copy Share Image
The living room is a monument to my impulsive spending habits. I've got more than two hundred DVDs, including cinematic greats such… — Jen Lancaster Accounts Copy Share Image
Really? If I could hate my trainer? That would be ideal. I'd prefer to despise this person with the fire of ten… — Jen Lancaster Bus Copy Share Image
“Fletch is back from Austin, and turns out what sounded great on paper didn't match up to reality. He says its so… — Jen Lancaster Austin Copy Share Image
“Except for thinking up reasons I’m allowed to skip the gym, my schedule is almost totally empty. (Today’s reason is because I… — Jen Lancaster Gym Copy Share Image
“When she gets rattled, the South really comes out. Once when Daddy tried to cancel our country club membership because he said… — Jen Lancaster Culture Copy Share Image
I don't care how happily married you are or how deeply enmeshed you are with your children and family and career --… — Jen Lancaster Break Copy Share Image
