Funny facebook status Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 16

Can I trade this job for what's behind door 1?

— Nikhil Saluja

I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

— Nikhil Saluja

Three Things to Love.. Purity, Honesty and Hard work.

— Nikhil Saluja

I notice everything, sometimes I just don't say anything.

— Nikhil Saluja

Winning isn't everything. Getting blowjobs from women are.

— Nikhil Saluja

Love dictates, but a kiss writes the secrets of the heart.

— Nikhil Saluja

Shut up, brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-Tip!

— Nikhil Saluja

If I'm what I eat, then why isn't me saying meow?

— Nikhil Saluja

I may not agree with what you have to say, but I shall defend to the death your right to shut up.

— Nikhil Saluja

Last night I called this girl. SLUT in public & now she is charging me double for sex.

— Nikhil Saluja

Puddle: A small body of water that attracts other small bodies wearing dry shoes.

— Nikhil Saluja

Inspirational tweet of the day: If you ever feel like you're about to do something you're going to regret later, do it.

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, A man who lost his liberty in the pursuit of happiness;

— Nikhil Saluja

I see your lips moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah

— Nikhil Saluja

You can tell a lot about a person by holding a gun at their head and asking them questions.

— Nikhil Saluja

It has been scientifically proven that the less you know, the more you think you know.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sex with different partners - Go compare

— Nikhil Saluja

The thing I admire most in my girlfriend is her brains and the way that each of them has an attractive nipple…

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm the only man who has a marriage license made out To Whom It My Concern .

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, The only virtue that can be divided endlessly and still not be diminished;

— Nikhil Saluja

It's only happy hour if a hot girl is sharing your drinks. Otherwise it's just drowning your misery.

— Nikhil Saluja

I've been banging my head against this wall for hours trying to figure out where all this blood is coming from!

— Nikhil Saluja

Twitter: where no one is afraid to say the first thing that pops into their head.

— Nikhil Saluja

Relationship Status: Apologizing everytime for saying something hilarious.

— Nikhil Saluja

With $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like... love!

— Nikhil Saluja

Consultant is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.

— Nikhil Saluja

Idiots don't know they are idiots, I know I am an idiot therefore I am not an idiot ;)

— Nikhil Saluja

When I die I want to be be reincarnated as a Lizard. Just so I can finally hear a women say Oh…

— Nikhil Saluja

Or what? You'll release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark they…

— Nikhil Saluja

My wife nearly crashed the car today. Thankfully I remembered to hide the keys.

— Nikhil Saluja

Expectoration: If you go to a political rally, you should EXPECTORATION.

— Nikhil Saluja

Actual warning printed on the bottom of a package of Tesco's Tiramisu dessert : Do not turn upside down.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm not a mind reader, your unspoken words doesn't tell me anything at all.

— Nikhil Saluja

Marriage paralyzes men from the neck up and women from the waist down.

— Nikhil Saluja

My wife always bring these injured animals to home. I think she should just stop driving.

— Nikhil Saluja

Nothing is sadder than a guy who complains on Facebook about how shitty his sex life is.

— Nikhil Saluja

Everytime someone tweet 'Love is in the air' I usually go & shave my balls.

— Nikhil Saluja

I can't listen to the radio. Every love song reminds me of you. It hurts.

— Nikhil Saluja

Honey, please help me find a match for this sock. What for? Are you going to set it on fire?

— Nikhil Saluja

My girl went away for the weekend, and I didn't masturbate once. I masturbated 21 times.

— Nikhil Saluja