Funny Quotes · Page 953

Dream projects are always a funny thing to label. I guess just more exciting scripts in my inbox. Maybe an exciting script…

— Andrew Gower

But I also directed Jack Barrymore and Ronald Colman and James Stewart, to name a few.

— George Cukor

Hahaha true dat

— Me

It almost seems that if you can describe it, you can change it.

— Ross Bleckner

“I ain't never seen a creature like that before, she says. He's so smart, he's- More, like a person than a bird?…

— Moira Young

It's kind of funny the way it happened - the way I became a goalie. I was playing forward on this one…

— Martin Brodeur

I'm just so, so grateful that I have this fanbase that are so funny and supportive and interested.

— Maisie Peters

Sorry your horoscope didn't predict the change in your horoscope.

— Anonymous

Why do we call it truth or dare when we all know it's really Who do you like or Awkward sexual task.

— Pretty Ladii

No manager ever won no ballgames.

— Sparky Anderson

Pioneers get slaughtered, and the settlers prosper.

— Daymond John

I always say to my friends, 'We're the people who like funny TV shows a little too much, to the point where…

— Esther Povitsky

When somebody says, "The last thing I want to do is hurt you," it means they've got other things to do first.

— Mark Schiff

No matter how nice you try to be someone will cast you to play the cunt in their life story.

— Green Monk

All mankind rules its women, and we rule all mankind, but our women rule us.

— Cato the Elder

What's funny in 'The Mayor of MacDougal Street' is how Dave Van Ronk talks a lot about the time and how exciting…

— Oscar Isaac

“He's a little more...psychotic than usual," Tom said quietly. "How so?" "He took C-4 to bed with him." Prophet shrugged. "He's always…

— S.E. Jakes

I'm never the graceful girl you see strolling down the hallway. I'm the one who trips and almost fall, but is holding…

— Brandi Isaacs

It is always possible to do a thing better the second time.

— Henry Ford

In Africa, Temple Run is not just a game, its a life style.

— Kalle Amadou

It's just like Eddie Sharkey told me along time ago...GET THE MONEY!

— Ricky Rice

At the end, excitement maintained its hysteria.

— Jerry Coleman

Normal Person Flirting: Hey, baby what's going on? Me Flirting: Your face. I like that.

— Anonymous

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

— Agatha Christie

Thank you so much for breaking my heart because you got me four Grammys.

— Sam Smith

Kent Abbott is in the on-deck circuit.

— Jerry Coleman

The disintegration of your marriage has greatly improved my social life.

— Anonymous

Real men don't wear pink... They eat it! ;)

— Anonymous

'Vicky Donor' proved that the audience was waiting for well-scripted funny films.

— Yami Gautam

Without woman you can build amansion but only a woman can make it home.

— Mak_786

Mike and Harvey finally consummate things, a great cliffhanger

— Patrick J. Adams

Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain't so…

— Minnie Pearl

I got the wake-up call that no one is policing our oceans. I wondered, how can I do anything? What really can…

— Angela Kinsey

Fashion is not about before, it’s not about after, it’s about now

— Alber Elbaz

For fear you will be alone you do so many things that aren't you at all.

— Richard Brautigan

Tide goes in, tide goes out. Never a miscommunication. You can't explain that. You can't explain why the tide goes in.

— Bill O'Reilly

I love horror. It's funny, because 'The Invitation' never struck me as horror, but it's definitely that type of thriller.

— Karyn Kusama

We can only give away to others what we have inside ourselves.

— Wayne Dyer

Do we have anything in music that really wipes everything out? That just cleans everything away?

— Morton Feldman

A guy at work went in for a competition and won a trip to China. He's out there now...trying to win a…

— Jerry Dennis