Funny Quotes · Page 955

Complete freedom from stress is death

— Hans Selye

How far you go in life depends on...

— George Washington Carver

Something touched me deep inside The day the music died.

— Don McLean

Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.

— Mae West

I find it hard living in a day and age where people are unwilling to accept who they really are.

— Matthew Lotti

Here I am, where I am supposed to be.

— Isak Dinesen

“On a date, if you look more often to your phone than to your girlfriend/wife, then you have a problem... but if…

— Alin Sav

All that God asks you most pressingly is to go out of yourself … and let God be God in you

— Meister Eckhart

You cant get anywhere without the people who have come into your life.

— Ian Somerhalder

I see no reason to suppose these machines will ever force themselves into general use.

— Duke of Wellington

Liberace was certainly master and commander of the ivories ~ he is the only pianist I can watch or listen to without…

— Anonymous

Tension is a habit. Relaxing is a habit. Bad habits can be broken, good habits formed.

— William James

“That much sexual tension makes me want to hump a phone pole, and that’s just not attractive in a pregnant woman.”

— Amy Lane

Bitches b like long hair dont care known damn well they shit shorter than a Instagram video

— IG:Catone_2funny

God's Word will never fall into disrepair. But here's what happens when we don't travel on it: We fall into disrepair!

— David Jeremiah

Let your thoughts be ruled by principle, and then live up to your thoughts.

— Wallace D. Wattles

Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.

— William Gibson

I don't know about Willie Davis. He's not as young as he used to be.

— Jerry Coleman

Elena, my four year old, says to me in all seriousness; "Mommy, you need to buy another baby".

— Ronald Reagan

Well, I am trying to put Quebec in its place - and the place of Quebec is in Canada, nowhere else.

— Pierre Trudeau

Know that you yourself are a miracle.

— Norman Vincent Peale

It's funny that people just forget that I'm not Canadian.

— Auston Matthews

I was on a boat the other day when my computer fell into the ocean and it was a Dell so now…

— Anonymous

“Leggo my Eggo!”

— Kellogg

IN GIRL'S RESPECT -One of the Most; Beautiful Creations of GOD... -You can Feel Her INNOCENCE; In the form of A DAUGHTER...…

— Anonymous

Be a physical chemist, an organic chemist, an analytical chemist, if you will; but above all be a Chemist.

— Ira Remsen

The truth always stays the same.

— Neil Diamond

Love is not an experience. Love is what you are.

— John de Ruiter

Eccentricity is developed monomania.

— Bayard Taylor

What I did, I did without choice...

— Paul McGann

It's hard to dream when you're deep inside of one.

— Mac Miller

I have only one ambition left: I should like to have a good epitaph.

— Otto von Bismarck

All roads lead to Johannesburg.

— Alan Paton

To penetrate one's being, one must go armed to the teeth.

— Paul Valery

There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.

— Mark Twain

As George Costanza would say, when they're applauding, stop.

— Jason Alexander

Humour is often linked to shared experience. Like, a guy gets up and says, Have you noticed public restrooms have really inefficient…

— Bo Burnham

When people are deeply affected by the Word, they tell it to other people.

— Dietrich Bonhoeffer

My point is not that everything is bad, but that everything is dangerous, which is not exactly the same as bad.

— Michel Foucault

America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan - Go for the Gold.

— Bob Hope