“The door buzzer sounded again. The two boys exchanged a single look before both bolting down the narrow hallway to the door.… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
“Jake became excruciatingly aware of her, there, right behind him. The small grunts and groans as she placed each foot carefully on… — Cherry Adair Copy Share Image
The thing to keep in mind is that's how I started long before MTV and Twitter and Facebook. I studied at broadcasting… — Tom Green Copy Share Image
Some of my friends say that I only talk about myself. But it is funny: my house is covered in art but… — Mario Testino Copy Share Image
I swear females wear they scrub fit everywhere they go...lol...u can leave a funeral N c a female walking out crying wit… — IG:catone_2_funny Copy Share Image
“He was a bad, bad bastard. He abused the privilege of being a cunt, as my old Da would say.’ I smiled,… — Craig Russell Copy Share Image
My Dear McClellan, if you don't want to use the army I should like to borrow it for a while. Yours respectfully. — Abraham Lincoln Copy Share Image
Monday is just a reminder that the weekend has past and there are only a few more days before another weekend gets… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I was shy,” said six-foot-one of bashful male. He grunted as a sharp, feminine elbow thudded inconspicuously into his side.” — Anne Gracie Copy Share Image
While it might surprise many ecologists to hear, capitalism is itself the ultimate form of conservationism. Capitalists seek to conserve resources, not… — Steven Plaut Copy Share Image
Cooking? Oh we were great, you'd take anything and melt cheese on it, and the one who could guess what it was… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you come home from school, look in the mirror and are like, 'Did I really look like that… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Truly competent Literary Detectives are as rare as truthful men, Mr. Tweed -- you can see her potential as clearly as I… — Jasper Fforde Copy Share Image
I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
People like her because she's like a breath of fresh air. Because in the fifth book it gets so dark and Harry's… — Evanna Lynch Copy Share Image
Economists state their GNP growth projections to the nearest tenth of a percentage point to prove they have a sense of humor. — Edgar Fiedler Copy Share Image
That Moment When You're Having a Bad Day So You Lock yourself In Your Room And StartSinging And You Realize Your Singing… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I consider myself very fortunate to grow up in a time when my family, my friends don't look at me funny because… — Christie Hefner Copy Share Image
“Some vampires wouldn't react if you shoved a rosary down their pants, though I wouldn't recommend testing the theory.” — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“I sure wasn't going to ask Aunt Sally, because if she told me once that getting your period was like a moth… — Phyllis Reynolds Naylor Copy Share Image
If we can send a person to the moon, we can send someone with AIDS to the moon, and then someday we… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
“She said, “Look me right in the eye, and tell me you don’t love me, and I’ll go.” He stared at her.… — John C. Wright Copy Share Image
There's something about [cyclically] doing something over and over and over that seems to be particularly demotivating. — Dan Ariely Copy Share Image
Ok, soooo I really have an overactive imagination, lol! Here is just an excerpt of sorts haha you tell me what you… — Treasure/Heroine/Actress/Princess Copy Share Image
Middle age is Janus-faced. As we look back on our accomplishments and our failures to achieve the things we wanted, we look… — Stanley H Cath Copy Share Image
Being stupid and compassionate are not conflicts. Being mean and being funny and having something to say are not a conflict. — El-P Copy Share Image
My girlfriend and I went to a dinner party the other night and we ended up playing charades. There was another couple… — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
“Oh, go to hell." He stood up from the table his face white, and stood there white and angry behind the little… — Ernest Hemingway Copy Share Image
“You were the only ones who came to help. The only ones. And yet you asked for nothing in return. Why?' Rhys's… — Sarah J. Maas Copy Share Image
I loved 'Cabaret.' I loved what it had to say and the whole style and brilliance of the book. It was my… — Ann Reinking Copy Share Image
Here is a tip for all you young people drinking wine. With pasta, drink white wine. With steak, drink red wine. And… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
“Rhage raised his hand. "Pastor Ass-hat, I have a question." "Yes, my son, you ARE going to hell." Lassiter made the sign… — J.R. Ward Copy Share Image
But it's funny growing up, because everyone treats you - as twins growing up, everyone treats you like you're one person a… — Drew Scott Copy Share Image
That Awkward Moment When You Tell The Guy You Like That You Like Him, But He Tells You He Don't Like You,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If it tastes funny, don't eat it. If it looks funny, call a doctor. If it is funny, it must have been… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You suggested to split the profits, so I did. I threw one half in the furnace… — Bauvard Copy Share Image
Go on, try weasel, try squirrel; it tastes like chicken, it tastes just like chicken! If it tastes just like chicken, why… — Bobcat Goldthwait Copy Share Image
“Kate stood by the door with her arms crossed. That was an anti-Curran pose. What the hell was the Beast Lord doing… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
I would not want to be a mobile home repo man. Those would be hard to sneak away - "Knock knock -… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
The first thing that I learned - and I understood it at a really young age - was that I could get… — George Clooney Copy Share Image