I got a wrestling ring downstairs in my basement. We did this thing where we were running the ropes and Billy Gunn… — Darby Allin Copy Share Image
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Her friends say she is very funny. At a family dinner, she stood to go, and the footman very properly pulled her… — Prince Andrew Copy Share Image
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Moe's the first character that I played that actually allowed me to embrace all parts of myself, including my physical appearance, the… — Kiana Madeira Copy Share Image
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This Columbus Day, let's apologize for our historical mistreatment of American Indians by losing money at a tribal casino. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
'Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say... sort of. It's just a filler. Sort of... it doesn't really mean anything.… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
I had a terrible time hiring rich people. It sounds funny, but the problem is when things go wrong they can ask,… — Ben Horowitz Copy Share Image
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That would be cool if you could eat a good food with a bad food and the good food would cover for… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
[On the Dating Handbook] 'With a telescope, some munchies, and a warm blanket, watch for Halley's comet.' Yeah. I like that. There's… — David Cross Copy Share Image
Nothing interferes with my concentration. You could put on an orgy in my office and I wouldn't look up. Well, maybe once.. — Isaac Asimov Copy Share Image
I don't look at my work as being violent. 'Officer Downe' is more campy than anything. It's a comic book, so it's… — Shawn Crahan Copy Share Image
Le coeur d'une me' re est un ab|"me au fond duquel se trouve toujours un pardon. A mother'sheart isanabyss atthebottomof whichthere is… — Honore de Balzac Copy Share Image
One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said,… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
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Study finds that if someone likes your stuff on Facebook/Instagram you're 56% more likely to do a favor for them. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Let a short Act of Parliament be passed, placing all street musicians outside the protection of the law, so that any citizen… — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
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This guy was having a problem with mice in his apartment. Dude, he told a friend, I've tried everything and those damn… — Celeste Hartman Copy Share Image
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IF the ocean was made of vodka and I were a duck, I would swim to the bottom and never come up.… — Shubham Joshi Copy Share Image
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![“[On the Dating Handbook] 'With a telescope, some munchies, and a warm blanket, watch for Halley's comet.' Yeah. I like that. There's no time limit. Just sit there and grow old together.” quote by David Cross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/bf1/david-cross-3386_blanket_on-the-dating-handbook-with-a-telescope_3033428.jpg)
