For me, funny is funny, and what's unfortunate is these comedians aren't being allowed to operate in rooms for everybody and that… — Wyatt Cenac Copy Share Image
Men are like dogs. Dogs spend 10 mins chasing their tail for entertainment. Men spend their lifetime chasing tail for entertainment — Lady Uniquee Copy Share Image
I think the No. 1 lesson I learned from 'The Simpsons' was just that animation could be as funny as live-action. That… — Alex Hirsch Copy Share Image
Walking into class on the first day of school, see who's in thereand thinking You've got to be fu*king kidding me -__- — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The guys on the stunt team are really fantastic. It's really funny, because for all the aggression they have to display on… — Miranda Otto Copy Share Image
“Lovely, not only did the truck look like it was on its last leg, it was going to take the environment with… — Adrienne Wilder Copy Share Image
I have a million funny ideas for sketches, but I don't want to spend tens of thousands of dollars shooting them. — Gavin McInnes Copy Share Image
The more you do, the more you fail. The more you fail, the more you learn. The more you learn, the better… — John C. Maxwell Copy Share Image
It's fun when you're driving, and people wave at you, and you wave back. I think you either like people or you… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
One of the issues that we professional newspaper columnists are required by union regulations to voice grave concern about is the federal… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“She was smart like that, and lucky like that, and people loved the hell out of her. They didn’t love the hell… — Jaymin Eve Copy Share Image
“Stick your dick in’?” I asked, my brows probably touching. “Did you actually just say that?” “Make love. I meant make love… — Kylie Scott Copy Share Image
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
If you delight more in God’s gifts than in God Himself, you are practically setting up another God above Him, and this… — Charles Spurgeon Copy Share Image
I had a bag of Fritos, they were Texas grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on them. They remind me of… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“Poetry destroyed? Genius banished? No! Mediocrity, no: do not let envy prompt you to the thought. No; they not only live, but… — Charlotte Brontë Copy Share Image
I definitely take after my dad, looks-wise. But my mum is my greatest inspiration. All the women in my family are amazing.… — Shari Sebbens Copy Share Image
I learned that to be amusing was not to be frivolous and that language - always the language - was the magic… — Christopher Hitchens Copy Share Image
Question: What was the hardest thing you had to give up? Answer: I know this is kinda pathtic but probably brady..this kid… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“She'd made him watch every Alien movie. Most of the goriest scenes were accompanied by his dialogue: 'Ach, that's no' - that's… — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
It is great fun dying in the United States of America. It is great fun first of all for the undertakers who… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
Sean is so funny. One time he went to Ireland for two weeks with his mother, and Ireland is so beautiful, and… — Megan Mullally Copy Share Image
I can count on one hand the people who are legendary in my book, and Tom Waits is certainly right at the… — Steve Vai Copy Share Image
So, I sit at the hotel at night and I think of something that's funny. Or, If the pen is too far… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
The more popular a person thinks he is in the blogosphere, the thinner his skin and the thicker his hypocrisy. This should… — Guy Kawasaki Copy Share Image
“I didn't want to spoil the mood. This was probably the longest Daemon and I had ever spoken without some statement earning… — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
I remember when I got my first Adam Sandler CD and it was the funniest thing I'd ever heard in my entire… — Seth Rogen Copy Share Image
You know you're a redneck when you go to a parade and they throw out corn on the cob and hand out… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“My mouth dropped open. Oh my God, it was like having a conversation with a ruder Tink. Who, by the way, was… — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when the bathroom is silent except forthe sound of your pee and you hope the person washing their hands… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
WHERE THE HELL IS IT!! I SWEAR I'LL BURN THIS PLACE TO THE GROUND! Sir, calm down, your toy is under the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Wife pointing at a couple next door says to her husband: Look at him he kisses her all the time, cant u… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
We can do only what we think we can do. We can be only what we think we can be. We can… — Robert Collier Copy Share Image
I always say, if I tell you a joke right now and it's funny, you laugh. Now, we set the lights, and… — Martin Landau Copy Share Image
If I had someone buttering me up, maybe I'd have worked out. You don't even know where I came from. Nobody wants… — Nick Diaz Copy Share Image
Isn't it funny how babies laugh a lot? I read a toddler, a young child laughs 300 times a day. The average… — Joel Osteen Copy Share Image
Boy: Will you be may RAIN? Girl: Why ?? Boy: Because I Will Be your Earth Girl: Whats is the connection between… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Teacher: School's almost over, Teacher: And this is crazy, Teacher: But here's 3 projects, Teacher: Due by Friday — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Oh the wonders of being married. Put a gun in one hand and a woman in the other, I'm never sure who's… — Michael W. Grimard Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, FAITHFUL, That man who is married to a trusting wife (a definition that can be either truthful or cynical) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
