This week, penny collector Gene Sukie went to the bank and cashed in ten thousand pounds of pennies he had collected over… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
I took dance from a very early age, although my first recital, I remember refusing to go onstage. I think I was… — Phillipa Soo Copy Share Image
So far China has won the most gold medals, ladies and gentlemen. The Chinese athletes can't wait to get home and show… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Average women believe they need a man to feel wanted & loved. Real women are very desired, have self-love, & do just… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I think that all the Mel Brooks' company of actors is just tremendous. It was a crazy group of genius people. All… — Brett Gelman Copy Share Image
RULE101 Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you down with unmatched experience. — Coldheart Copy Share Image
I really can't believe the price some women pay for sunglasses. I'm starting to think it'd be cheaper to get the kitchen… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I always think any circumstances can be funny. Not that I'm irresponsible, but when things go wrong, I always come up with… — Brian Helgeland Copy Share Image
I want to grow old without facelifts... I want to have the courage to be loyal to the face I've made. Sometimes… — Marilyn Monroe Copy Share Image
Kya apko ladkian pasand hai? Kya aap ladkion ki baten sunna chahte hai? Kya aap hmesha ladkio se ghire rehna chahte hai?… — Sadie Copy Share Image
I think Amy Poehler and Tina Fey have done so much for women in comedy in the sense that they've normalized it.… — Tatiana Maslany Copy Share Image
I'm a fan of the old 'Creature Features' like 'Critters,' and 'Gremlins' and 'Tremors.' 'Jaws' is classic. It's funny that I still… — Brooke Nevin Copy Share Image
It's funny because as a composer, you want to hear your songs live on. I think a lot of times people will… — Christian Scott Copy Share Image
I would recommend to those persons who are inclined to stagnate, whose blood is beginning to thicken sluggishly in their veins, to… — Elizabeth von Arnim Copy Share Image
People don't think of their office as a workplace anymore. They think of it as a stationary store with Danish. You want… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Pleeease like ? I need sexy people to go and like this sexy page FOR ME ? please(: i really want them… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Marg muttered something under her breath. It was either “Who does he think he is?” or “I hope he has no kids.”… — Finn Eccleston Copy Share Image
I now have absolute proof that smoking even one marijuana cigarette is equal in brain damage to being on Bikini Island during… — Ronald Reagan Copy Share Image
I've seen the Tortilla Guy hashtag when I'm going through my Instagram and all of that and I think it's pretty funny.… — Jim Root Copy Share Image
I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French, surprised everybody. It was a Chinese restaurant. I said to this… — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer. — Rita Rudner Copy Share Image
I'm not saying I am Batman, I am just saying that no one has ever seen me and Batman in the same… — Nishan Singh Copy Share Image
When I was doing ensemble theater and comedy work, I felt I had some talents. But when I started doing my shows… — Whoopi Goldberg Copy Share Image
Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Will Ferrell and Tracy Morgan. I loved, loved, loved watching them. Tracy was always so funny, and then… — Ego Nwodim Copy Share Image
Anybody can make jokes. But unless they come from conviction, and there's truth in them, you haven't nailed it. They aren't as… — Dan Jenkins Copy Share Image
“Bryan helped me up. "How can you be so good one minute then clumsy the next?" I shrugged. "I've never been very… — John Corwin Copy Share Image
I will say, 'The Michael J. Fox Show' is funnier than 'Breaking Bad' - not that 'Breaking Bad' isn't funny, but this… — Betsy Brandt Copy Share Image
My girlfriend bought be a collared shirt for my birthday, mainly so I dont get too far ahead of her when she… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Care to explain?” Ari asked. “Didn’t you see my signals?” “Yeah. But they didn’t make sense. Five into one and it’s an… — Maria V. Snyder Copy Share Image
“Whoever came up with the term “Funny Bone” must have been a masochist, because hitting it is not funny at all…” — Gary Hopkins Copy Share Image
The doctor:it doesn't have stabilizers river: the blue switches. the doctor: well the blue switches don't do anything. they're just blue river:… — The Doctor & River Song Copy Share Image
Newtons law of love: Love can neither be created nor be destroyed. Only it can transfer from one girlfriend to another with… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I dont know when exactly that UFO landed and dropped off all these stupid people here but it obviously isn't coming back… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Girl: Dont follow me, I already have a boyfriend. Boy: If the goal keeper is there wont we try a goal??? Always… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
I have a pet dog, he kisses like you, his breath is like yours, he pants like you. I love him dearly… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
God is the Truth. The Bible is the truth about the Truth. Theology is the truth about the truth about the Truth. — Richard Wurmbrand Copy Share Image
What's nice about a lot of Wes Anderson's films is that there's a patience to it. I think that patience brings out… — Wyatt Cenac Copy Share Image
As a youngster, my mother and father always drilled into my head having something to fall back on. My father was kind… — Shaquille O'Neal Copy Share Image
Some guy decided that it would be funny to put that in my Wikipedia entry. He was adamant that 'Mickey' was about… — Toni Basil Copy Share Image
Although the rudiments of snobbery are there, its finer developments are basically alien to the Australian soul - that is, if Australians… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
