Continental people have a sex life; the English have hot-water bottles. — George Mikes Bottles Copy Share Image
Continental people have sex lives; the English have hot-water bottles. — George Mikes Funny Copy Share Image
“Many Continentals tink life is a game; the English think cricet is a game.” — George Mikes English Copy Share Image
To be extravagant you need money. True. But you do not need your own money. — George Mikes Extravagant Copy Share Image
“Can you tell the difference between our margarine and our hair tonic? WE can’t.” — George Mikes Tell Difference Copy Share Image
The English are always ready to admire anything so long as they can queue up. — George Mikes Admire Copy Share Image
The man who is not afraid of danger is not a hero, but a psychopath. — George Mikes Danger Copy Share Image
Once you start buying first aid kits you start having accidents. — George Mikes Accidents Copy Share Image
“Q. Why don’t they work harder? A. They just don’t like hard work. The Germans have a reputation for hard work, so… — George Mikes British Copy Share Image
Rich people (in Australia) have swimming pools in their gardens but, at least, they do swim in them. — George Mikes Australia Copy Share Image
“Remember: If you go for a walk with a friend in England, don't say a single word for hours; if you go… — George Mikes Dogs Copy Share Image
The Americans are extremely gadget minded people and American gadgets have a peculiar characteristic: they work. — George Mikes America Copy Share Image
The country has always been governed by a coalition but today it is governed by a so-called Grand Coalition which is a… — George Mikes Coalition Copy Share Image
Tel-Aviv airport is still the only airport in the world where each passenger is met by ten relatives. — George Mikes Airports Copy Share Image
On the Continent stray cats are judged individually on their merit-some are loved, some are only respected; in England they are universally… — George Mikes Ancient Copy Share Image
Bad English was the second language of Israel and bad Hebrew, of course, remained the national language. — George Mikes Courses Copy Share Image
“THE trouble with tea is that originally it was quite a good drink. So a group of the most eminent British scientists… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
“The final reason is purely practical and based on sound economic assessment. Whether we work or not makes hardly any difference. So… — George Mikes Economics Copy Share Image
A great deal of the pupils time was spent going through, once again, the History of the Communist (Bolshevik) Party of the… — George Mikes Bolsheviks Copy Share Image
If it is gay, ribald and lascivious night-life you are after, Israel is not the place for you. The night clubs you… — George Mikes Clubs Copy Share Image
The world still consists of two clearly divided groups: the English and the foreigners. One group consists of less than 50 million… — George Mikes Foreigners Copy Share Image
“There is nothing personal in the fact that they ignore you: they are simply Miltonists. All English shop assistants are Miltonists. A… — George Mikes Assistants Miltonists Copy Share Image
“Mr S. got angry. ‘Yes, I do have a son. He’s a good-for-nothing. A dead loss.’ I couldn’t ask which prison he… — George Mikes Prison Copy Share Image
I have often thought that the aim of port is to give you a good and durable hangover, so that during the… — George Mikes Aim Copy Share Image
“Before you are admitted to British citizenship you are not even considered a natural human being. I looked up the word natural… — George Mikes Citizenship Copy Share Image
You must not refuse any additional cups of tea under the following circumstances: if it is hot; if it is cold; if… — George Mikes Circumstances Copy Share Image
“If he stretches out his hand in order to shake yours, you must not accept it. Smile vaguely, and as soon as… — George Mikes Hope Copy Share Image
“But even in Curzon Street society, if you say, for instance, that you are a tough guy they will consider you a… — George Mikes Tough guy Copy Share Image
“Then you have tea for breakfast; then you have tea at eleven o’clock in the morning; then after lunch; then you have… — George Mikes Coffee Copy Share Image
“When some years ago, knowing ten words of English and using them all wrong, I applied for a translator’s job, my would-be… — George Mikes Translator Copy Share Image
“An average English house combines all the curses of civilisation with the vicissitudes of life in the open. It is all right… — George Mikes Life Copy Share Image
“5. Television is of great educational value. It teaches you while still really young how to (a) kill, (b) rob, (c) embezzle,… — George Mikes Crime Copy Share Image
“While — say — the butcher serves a lady who is shopping for five days for her family of fourteen, you must… — George Mikes Exist Copy Share Image
“If a continental youth wants to declare his love to a girl, he kneels down, tells her that she is the sweetest,… — George Mikes Love Copy Share Image
“While the Rumanian Radio was serializing (without my permission) How to be an Alien as an anti-British tract, the Central Office of… — George Mikes Man Said Copy Share Image
“IN my early days there were stories about funny refugees murdering the English language. A refugee woman goes to the greengrocer to… — George Mikes English language Copy Share Image
“There are various, centuries-old, true British traditions to secure this aim. 1. All orders and directives to the public are worded in… — George Mikes Civil servants Copy Share Image
THE British are brave people. They can face anything, except reality. — George Mikes Brave Copy Share Image
An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one. — George Mikes Englishman Copy Share Image
