The English take everything with an exquisite sense of humour. They are only offended if you tell them that they have no… — George Mikes English language Copy Share Image
'I don't say a Zionist must be insane,' said President Weizmann, 'but it helps if he is.' — George Mikes Funny Copy Share Image
Nobody uses his car in New York, because so many people use it that traffic is congested and unbearably slow. — George Mikes Car Copy Share Image
“IT is easy to be rude on the Continent. You just shout and call people names of a zoological character.” — George Mikes Continent Copy Share Image
I said in my earlier book, and find no reason for retracting my statement, that the famous Jewish sense of humour got… — George Mikes Book Copy Share Image
The Japanese are human beings like the rest of us, but they will strongly resent this insinuation. — George Mikes Funny Copy Share Image
A criminal may improve and become a decent member of society. A foreigner cannot improve. Once a foreigner, always a foreigner. There… — George Mikes Crime Copy Share Image
I asked many friends if Australian anti-intellectualism was still a living force and they all told me it was. If you are… — George Mikes Above average Copy Share Image
In England it is bad manners to be clever, to assert something confidently. It may be your own personal view that two… — George Mikes Bad man Copy Share Image
It was decided almost two hundred years ago that English should be the language spoken in the United States. It is not… — George Mikes America Copy Share Image
American radio is the reverse of the Shakespearean stage. In Shakespeare's time the world's greatest dramas were acted with the most primitive… — George Mikes Air Copy Share Image
Long before the word Zionism was uttered for the first time, old religious Jews came from all over the world to die… — George Mikes Dies Copy Share Image
What beefsteak is to Argentina, flamenco to Spain, cool reserve and self-control in all situations to an Englishman, what vodka is to… — George Mikes Argentina Copy Share Image
On the Continent there is one topic which should be avoided-the weather; in England, if you do not repeat the phrase "Lovely… — George Mikes Avoided Copy Share Image
Was he joking? Was he being sarcastic? Aggressive? Impertinent? Or just courteous? There was no telling from his impassive face. What a… — George Mikes Aggressive Copy Share Image
“There are some occasions when you must not refuse a cup of tea, otherwise you are judged an exotic and barbarous bird… — George Mikes Civilised society Copy Share Image
“In the last century, when a wicked and unworthy subject annoyed the Sultan of Turkey or the Czar of Russia, he had… — George Mikes Annoyed Sultan Copy Share Image
When a wicked and unworthy subject annoyed the Sultan of Turkey or the Czar of Russia, he had his head cut of… — George Mikes Amused Copy Share Image
“Once this refreshing, aromatic, oriental beverage was successfully transformed into colourless and tasteless gargling-water, it suddenly became the national drink of Great… — George Mikes Coffee Copy Share Image
“While all this goes on, the English remain staunch believers in equality. Equality is a notion the English have given to humanity.… — George Mikes Equality Copy Share Image
A couple from Sydney or Melbourne might leave on the same day for their holiday: the wife might go sun-bathing at Surfers… — George Mikes Australia Copy Share Image
“On the Continent learned persons love to quote Aristotle, Horace, Montaigne and show off their knowledge; in England only uneducated people show… — George Mikes Books Copy Share Image
Television is of great educational value. It teaches you while still young how to (a) kill, (b) rob, (c) embezzle, (d) shoot,… — George Mikes Education Copy Share Image
It is great fun dying in the United States of America. It is great fun first of all for the undertakers who… — George Mikes America Copy Share Image
It is often said that the Japanese are extremely clean at home, or inside any house or office, but dirty and untidy… — George Mikes Clean Copy Share Image
They (Americans) have their national game, baseball - which is cricket played with a strong American accent - and they have a… — George Mikes Accents Copy Share Image
Australians are decent people with the right instincts and they wish everybody well; but if all is not well, it is none… — George Mikes Australia Copy Share Image
Travel' is the name of a modern disease which became rampant in themid-fifties and is still spreading. The disease - its scientific… — George Mikes Disease Copy Share Image
Australia objects to the mini-skirt not on moral but on economic grounds. Australians are no prudes and the lovely, healthy, sporty Australian… — George Mikes Australia Copy Share Image
The British are proud of their ability to create a muddle and then muddle through all difficulties. I must shake the British… — George Mikes Ability Copy Share Image
