You must not refuse any additional cups of tea under the following circumstances: if it is hot; if it is cold; if… — George Mikes Circumstances Copy Share Image
People on the Continent either tell you the truth or lie; in England they hardly ever lie, but they would not dream… — George Mikes Continents Copy Share Image
To have created a Welfare State was a great achievement; but we must go on to create a Welfare Planet. — George Mikes Achievement Copy Share Image
The trouble with tea is that originally it was quite a good drink. So a group of the most eminent British scientists… — George Mikes Bores Copy Share Image
In the field of snobbery, Australia is an underdeveloped country; even a few British ex-colonies, regarded as under developed in all other… — George Mikes Australia Copy Share Image
The poor Americans are so busy defending the rights of Hindus in Pakistan, Moslems in India, Jews in Palestine, Koreans in Japan,… — George Mikes America Copy Share Image
“While the Rumanian Radio was serializing (without my permission) How to be an Alien as an anti-British tract, the Central Office of… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
Australians are decent people with the right instincts and they wish everybody well; but if all is not well, it is none… — George Mikes Australia Copy Share Image
A criminal may improve and become a decent member of society. A foreigner cannot improve. Once a foreigner, always a foreigner. There… — George Mikes Crime Copy Share Image
A great deal of the pupils time was spent going through, once again, the History of the Communist (Bolshevik) Party of the… — George Mikes Bolsheviks Copy Share Image
In England it is bad manners to be clever, to assert something confidently. It may be your own personal view that two… — George Mikes Bad man Copy Share Image
“When some years ago, knowing ten words of English and using them all wrong, I applied for a translator’s job, my would-be… — George Mikes Years ago Copy Share Image
It is great fun dying in the United States of America. It is great fun first of all for the undertakers who… — George Mikes America Copy Share Image
“But even in Curzon Street society, if you say, for instance, that you are a tough guy they will consider you a… — George Mikes Tough guy Copy Share Image
If somebody tells you an obviously untrue story, on the Continent you would remark, "You are a liar, Sir, and a rather… — George Mikes Continents Copy Share Image
If it is gay, ribald and lascivious night-life you are after, Israel is not the place for you. The night clubs you… — George Mikes Clubs Copy Share Image
It was decided almost two hundred years ago that English should be the language spoken in the United States. It is not… — George Mikes America Copy Share Image
Continental people have sex lives; the English have hot-water bottles. — George Mikes Funny Copy Share Image
On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. — George Mikes Continents Copy Share Image
Humility is one of the most repulsive virtues, nearly always false. — George Mikes Character Copy Share Image
“There is nothing personal in the fact that they ignore you: they are simply Miltonists. All English shop assistants are Miltonists. A… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
“IN my early days there were stories about funny refugees murdering the English language. A refugee woman goes to the greengrocer to… — George Mikes English language Copy Share Image
They (Americans) have their national game, baseball - which is cricket played with a strong American accent - and they have a… — George Mikes Accents Copy Share Image
Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are… — George Mikes Aggressive Copy Share Image
