What's so funny?" "Your panties have a bow," he said. I looked down. I was wearing a short tank top -not mine-… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
It seems that fears are all based on these things: illusion and future thinking, with a side order of 'What if.' 'What… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We are determined to defeat them and destroy them on the walls of our capital, as we are determined to destroy their… — Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf Copy Share Image
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it''s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it''s $4.95 a minute. — Punkinhead Abhishek Copy Share Image
God intends that everyone who has embraced the gospel become a part of the great enterprise of spreading the gospel. — Jerry Bridges Copy Share Image
Did you ever see the customers in health - food stores? They are pale, skinny people who look half - dead. In… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Everything in our lives has the potential to wake us up or put us to sleep. Allowing it to awaken us is… — Pema Chodron Copy Share Image
“My grandma Ruthie, Jettie's sister, had been married four times, so many times I started calling every old man I saw at… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
Yeah? Rock 'n' Roll is fast, you know. If all goes according to plan I could be in rehab next thursday. Tuesday… — Noel Fielding Copy Share Image
Cadbury Me Keede Dudh Me Milawat Pani Me Virus Cold drinks me kitnashak Saaf Bachi Hai to sirf Saali Daaru Piyo Sir… — Aakash Pattanayak Copy Share Image
There's only one true superpower amongst human beings, and that is being funny. People treat you differently if you can make them… — Jeff Garlin Copy Share Image
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically Converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“But I saw your aura looking healthy again, then looking sick after a hunt. And you keep getting migraines. You should take… — L.A. Weatherly Copy Share Image
I really loved 'Late Night With Conan O'Brien.' That was very informative to me. I love that it was in conversation with… — Julio Torres Copy Share Image
In the early years, you fight because you don't understand each other. In the later years, you fight because you do. — Joan Didion Copy Share Image
My company is known for being funny as well as moving. You get a bit of everything in these shows. I think… — Matthew Bourne Copy Share Image
If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
“Principal Totty was one of those people who frown while they’re speaking, and then smile at the end of each sentence. It… — Ferguson Fartworthy Copy Share Image
No matter how much makeup I wore, people just kept saying "Yes, sir! Would you like tea with that, sir?" "Yes, I… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
“Excuse me, but where do you think you’re going?” I asked. “I figured I’d put my underwear in with yours. That way… — Michele Bardsley Copy Share Image
Patrick is vey modest about using the Sir thing and I just inherited it by marriage, so more than anything it's just… — Sunny Ozell Copy Share Image
“My dear fellow " Said Albert, turning to Franz " here is an admirable adventure; we will fill our carriage with pistols,… — Alexandre Dumas Copy Share Image
“I allowed myself a little bit of relief. That was a lot less bad than I though it would be. "Of course,… — August Westman Copy Share Image
My Wife & me are either going to buy a dog or have a child. Actually we can't decide whether to ruin… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
It's appositival, if it's there. And it doesn't have to be there. And it's really obvious that it's there when it's there. — Larry Wall Copy Share Image
'Spinal Tap' is interesting because it created a genre of film and ended it - all in one motion. If you do… — Jay Chandrasekhar Copy Share Image
Boys who say 'I hate Justin Bieber' are those ones who can't master his hair flip no matter how much they practice. — Taylor Swift Copy Share Image
The trouble with this country is that there are too many people going about saying, "The trouble with this country is…" — Sinclair Lewis Copy Share Image
A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
What's funny is sometimes I'll watch a movie that's so gorgeously simple, it's like two characters in a house and I think,… — Julio Torres Copy Share Image
I actually find that my hair looks the best on tour with my band, Wardell. And it's funny because I'm just using… — Sasha Spielberg Copy Share Image
Life has no second edition to correct it later.It has only one edition which should be the best.So be smart enough while… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
First of all, I find everything funny, which is upsetting to my children sometimes, and to people in my life, in general. — Jenji Kohan Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night. We were plug sockets in the bedroom. We saw only a short part of… — Michael Summers Copy Share Image
I tried to walk into Target, but I missed. I think the entrance to Target should have people splattered all around. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“Botox is as common as seagulls in Sarasota, but most of the women I know who use the dermatologist’s little helper still… — Lisa Daily Copy Share Image
It's interesting that whenever I meet some of the other Bond girls, I always have something in common, and it is an… — Jane Seymour Copy Share Image
A modest ring at the bell at length allayed her fears, and Miss Benton, hurrying into her own room and shutting herself… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
