What is funny about us is precisely that we take ourselves too seriously. — Reinhold Niebuhr Copy Share Image
'I have enough clothes and shoes I never need to go shopping again...' Said no girl ever. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You gotta make your own fun. That's right, listen to that mother of two, she knows what I'm talking about. — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn't leave something that can be traced back… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you see things upside down, the ego can be extraordinarily funny; it's absurd. But it's tragic at the same time. — Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu Copy Share Image
She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, "Tut, Tut!" — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
“She moved in for a better look.It was a portrait of Bob Marley,a pretty good one,actually.No Woman, No Cry...that's right.No teenage girls… — Sheri Meshal Copy Share Image
If you are what you eat, then clearly you've had 2 heaping bowls of annoying today. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Does anyone else get bothered by that last inch the shower curtain wont cover? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Write what you know. Write what you don't know. But most of all, write what you'd rather not know. — Sam Lipsyte Copy Share Image
“I don't think the heavy stuff is gonna come down for quite a while!” ― Bill Murray character in Cadyshack” — Mark Buff Copy Share Image
Funny whatsapp status You can meet many beautiful people in a lifetime, but only one person is enough to make your life… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My wife just told me, You're fucking idiot considering as she's the only woman I love, then yes, it's a fair assumption. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Problem was, he couldn’t masturbate his sexual desires away because he’d fry off his cock." Hector” — Gena Showalter Copy Share Image
I did a show in Amsterdam where I was supposed to do only two songs but I ended up doing 13 because… — Adore Delano Copy Share Image
No one has ever come back from the other world. I can't console you, but one thing I can tell you, as… — Albert Schweitzer Copy Share Image
I Wanna Get Yu Sweatinq , I Wanna Get Yu Breathinq Hard ;D .................... So Yu Wanna Go Joqqinq With Me ;D ? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Gaga the person is much like Gaga the celebrity. She is very sweet, loyal, and funny with her fans, and she is… — Justin Tranter Copy Share Image
My excuse for being lazy: I'm not the real slim shady, so why would I stand up? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I accumulated in those years so fine a surplus in the Book of Observance that I have been drawing confidently upon it… — Winston Churchill Copy Share Image
I think it's one of those funny things - sometimes you're not really friends with somebody until you've gotten into a good… — Mark Valley Copy Share Image
WIFE, A woman who can be labelled intelligent when she sees through her husband -- she's understanding when she sees him through; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I have asked my mom and my sister a couple times if I should post something or not. Or if they think… — Cameron Dallas Copy Share Image
“One would think that since Hamilton and Eliza only just got married, our mothers would be satisfied for a while, but instead… — Jen Turano Copy Share Image
