There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wont stand… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
Daddy pays for the water, daddy pays for the gas, daddy pays for the electricity, and if daddy didn't pay for the… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
At the moment the wind blows at my face…I close my eyes and feel you kissed. Thats why I can't resist facing… — Fairy_thale Copy Share Image
That horrifying moment when your mom says... I need to talk to you. And u think of everything you did wrong this… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Averages don't always reveal the most telling realities. You know, Shaquille O'Neal and I have an average height of 6 feet. — Robert Reich Copy Share Image
Amy Sherman-Palladino is very funny. She's got just natural timing and comedic instinct. And she writes in a comedic rhythm. — Alex Borstein Copy Share Image
I'm always trying to find the next comedian that just gives me something a little funny to combine with all of the… — Jesse Williams Copy Share Image
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but usually manages to pick himself up, walk over or around it, and carry on. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When a Spanish actor does an accent, that's sexy. When Peter Sellers did a French accent in 'Pink Panther,' that's funny -… — Jimmy O. Yang Copy Share Image
I'd love to do a film with Mariah. But it would have to be a comedy. She's the funniest woman in the… — Nick Cannon Copy Share Image
When we are bored we get on Facebook, then we get bored on Facebook so we get off then 15 min later… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm funny with food, even if it's vegan. I like it well well, well, well done. I don't want anything there that… — Ghostface Killah Copy Share Image
“It's a booley village," Ian told her. "The islanders used to take their animals into the hills for the summ. They'd camp… — O.R. Melling Copy Share Image
The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
I've always been intrigued with the variety of answers this generation will give their children who ask, "Where did I come from,… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
My sister wanted to be an actress. She never made it, but she does live in a trailer... so she got halfway.… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
There was an austerely dignified award ceremony. By that I mean we had to buy our own drinks - in clear violation… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
