Eddie Izzard

When I first came out, I thought, I want to walk like a real woman, I don't want to do mincing steps.…

— Eddie Izzard

“You know, I don't believe that religions are religions. No, I believe they are philosophies with some good ideas and some fuckin'…

— Eddie Izzard

If you've never seen an elephant ski, then you've never been on acid.

— Eddie Izzard

I don't believe in God. I believe gods and devils are within us. It's our own battle. Our life's battle is to…

— Eddie Izzard

“If you are an LGBT+ person and you come out, you have to go through your knight’s quest to create ground for…

— Eddie Izzard

America is the new Roman Empire. Remember what happened to Rome.

— Eddie Izzard

I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less.

— Eddie Izzard

I try to just talk about human stories and what I think about religion or teapots or whatever.

— Eddie Izzard

This is your captain speaking. Welcome aboard flight...one, from...here to there. We'll be cruising at a height of ten feet, going up…

— Eddie Izzard

You have the American dream! The dream is to be born in a gutter and grow up, and then get all the…

— Eddie Izzard

Because we all know one of the main factors of war is the element of surprise. And what could be more surprising…

— Eddie Izzard

We have two hundred languages in Europe. Two hundred languages! Count them! I know you won't!

— Eddie Izzard

I don't believe that competitions are important.

— Eddie Izzard

“Have you got a flag?”

— Eddie Izzard

Cause if you're a transvestite, you're actually a male tomboy, that's where the sexuality is. Yeah, it's not drag queen, no; gay…

— Eddie Izzard

I've done a bit of Latin in my time...but I can control it.

— Eddie Izzard

The National Rifle Association says, 'Guns don't kill people. People do'. But I think the gun helps.

— Eddie Izzard

If there were a god, don't you think he would have flicked Hitler's head off?

— Eddie Izzard

Spiders frighten me. In response to the spider alerts for Australia, please can the Australian government remove all spiders from Australia and…

— Eddie Izzard

“I think this should be called non-victim behavior. A surprise offer of bright cheeriness and self-confidence on people who were probably about…

— Eddie Izzard

I wanted to be less well-known in comedy.

— Eddie Izzard

They say that 'Guns don't kill people, people kill people.' Well I think the gun helps. If you just stood there and…

— Eddie Izzard

You piss me off you Salmon... You're too expensive in restaurants.

— Eddie Izzard

Someone's killed 100,000 people. We're almost going, "Well done! You killed 100,000 people? You must get up very early in the morning!…

— Eddie Izzard

Comedy is like a very cokey, druggy sugar. You get hits of comedy, and it's very, "More, give me more of that…

— Eddie Izzard