If there were a god, don't you think he would have flicked Hitler's head off? — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
If you can be your own force of nature and have a positive heart, then you can actually do something good in… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
Learning that you have stamina is an excellent thing to know. If a project fails, I know I can pick myself up. — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
I am a professional transvestite, so I can run about in heels and not fall over. — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
If you've never seen an elephant ski, then you've never been on acid. — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
Sharks are just evil bastards. I'm quite happy if all the sharks just went, because they eat fish and us. And we… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
If you're trying to get a bit of attention, you can smash up your hotel room or spend all your time going… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, 'Heimlich maneuver,' and all will be well. Trouble is,… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
There's a thing about trying too hard, which I think is in all forms, which is if you really try to do… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
In the UK a lot of people don't like to try. There's a different cultural thing. Here [in USA] if you try… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
How to survive boarding school. Do not express emotion, do not feel emotion, do not have emotion. If someone hits you, hit… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
If you get too well-known, you can never be a comedian's comedian, it just won't sit well. But I'm fine with that.… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
If you think about determination, if people have a heart and are determined, they can get to that place. But there are… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
I just play to progressive audiences. You know, if they're watching Discovery Channel, History Channel, that kind of thing, "Monty Python" have… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
My dad said, "As long as you're happy." I used to think it was kind of a very simple idea or philosophy… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
My sexuality is straight transvestite or male lesbian. It seems we are beyond the idea that I am gay and hiding it.… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
For me to put a look together, if it's going to be a boy look or a girl look or whatever, is… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
Cause if you're a transvestite, you're actually a male tomboy, that's where the sexuality is. Yeah, it's not drag queen, no; gay… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
If you're a performer, people tend to be quite positive about you or they have no opinion. — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
If you get too well-known in comedy, I do believe it blocks people from taking you in drama. — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
I love the fact that trying is respected. The American Dream: if you try, if you build it, they will come. I… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
If I were Achilles I would put my foot in a f**k off block of concrete! — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun). — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
Well, if you don't have a flag, then you can't have a country. Those are the rules... that I just made up! — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
Racist people, interestingly, are never as polite as smokers. Have you noticed that? Smokers always go, "Do you mind if I smoke?… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
The bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of drama is to be truthful. You can be… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
He [Charlie Chaplin] was always playing as if it were to the camera, if you've seen the live shots of him when… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
When I first came out, I thought, I want to walk like a real woman, I don't want to do mincing steps. And there… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
“You know, I don't believe that religions are religions. No, I believe they are philosophies with some good ideas and some fuckin' weird ones.” — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
If you've never seen an elephant ski, then you've never been on acid. — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
I don't believe in God. I believe gods and devils are within us. It's our own battle. Our life's battle is to appeal to… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
“If you are an LGBT+ person and you come out, you have to go through your knight’s quest to create ground for yourself, to… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
I try to just talk about human stories and what I think about religion or teapots or whatever. — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
This is your captain speaking. Welcome aboard flight...one, from...here to there. We'll be cruising at a height of ten feet, going up to twelve… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
You have the American dream! The dream is to be born in a gutter and grow up, and then get all the money in… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
Because we all know one of the main factors of war is the element of surprise. And what could be more surprising than the… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
We have two hundred languages in Europe. Two hundred languages! Count them! I know you won't! — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
![“In the UK a lot of people don't like to try. There's a different cultural thing. Here [in USA] if you try and fail, you get up again and start again and keep going. People respect you for it. Even if you keep failing, they respect the tenacity.” quote by Eddie Izzard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/f17/eddie-izzard-1732_different_in-the-uk-a-lot-of-people-don-t-like-to_806030.jpg)
![“He [Charlie Chaplin] was always playing as if it were to the camera, if you've seen the live shots of him when he's going to an opening night or something like that. And the skills that he had were beyond my ability to throw together. You just couldn't really compete with him. He was too athletic…” quote by Eddie Izzard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/429/eddie-izzard-1732_ability_he-charlie-chaplin-was-always-playing-as_2566917.jpg)
