Even the most scientific investigator in science, the most thoroughgoing Positivist, cannot dispense with fiction; he must at least make use of… — Havelock Ellis Copy Share Image
It is always a temptation to a rich and lazy nation, To puff and look important and to say:- 'Though we know… — Rudyard Kipling Copy Share Image
It was just the sort of yatch you'd expect a rock promoter to have. Mirrored ceilings, marble, Jacuzzis and leopard-skin everything, it… — Pamela Anderson Copy Share Image
“I tried not to let my relief show. I’d been a passenger in Jae’s car a total of three times, and after… — Rhys Ford Copy Share Image
“Can I just ask, after we find this guy, can we talk about the Vibrator Ceremony? I’m thinking of making us all… — Kristen Ashley Copy Share Image
With the exception of women, there is nothing on earth so agreeable or necessary to the comfort of man as the dog. — Edward Jesse Copy Share Image
Son asks his father: Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there? Father answers: Well son, there's three kinds of breasts. In… — Sharlene05 Copy Share Image
Teen: Has sex, does drugs, bad grades Parent: Just don't do it again! ok? Teen: Doesn't do chores. Parent: YOU CHILD ARE… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you're dating a man who you think might be "Mr. Right," if he a) got older, b) got a new job,… — Rita Rudner Copy Share Image
Ultimate Truth of College Life ... A Girl Loves a Boy, No One Knows Except The Girl. A Boy Loves a Girl,… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
“You hate birthdays yet pee your pants over presents. There is clearly something wrong with you," Garrett joked.” — T.E. Sivec Copy Share Image
I don't distract myself from work stuff with funny emails and surfing the internet when I'm at work; I don't distract myself… — Mark Schlereth Copy Share Image
The only reason the laundrette on Albert Square in Eastenders is open is because none of the people on there can figure… — Sparki Dee Copy Share Image
Willy Wonka: everything in this room is eatable. yes, I am eatable but that, children is called cannibelism and is frowned upon… — Charlie And The Choc Factory Copy Share Image
When women are seen on TV being crass or funny or making jokes or undercutting someone, then you feel it's socially acceptable… — Megan Ganz Copy Share Image
“I squinted one of my eyes at Daniel. “What are you doing?” he asked. “This is me, giving you the side eye.”… — Hodkin Michelle Copy Share Image
“His hand cups the back of my neck, and before I can think, he dips down and our mouths meet. For a… — Tera Lynn Childs Copy Share Image
There's a kind of funny gap between 14 and 20 when young people don't read very much. Nobody really knows what to… — Lloyd Alexander Copy Share Image
I think I saw 'Ghost' at, like, 6 or 7 - like, a little too early to see 'Ghost' - but I… — Nicole Byer Copy Share Image
I ordered a club sandwich, but I'm not even a member. "I like my sandwiches with three pieces of bread." "Well, so… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“Oscar reties his bandana. 'You'll see, little bro. Soon you'll be taking European vacations with Jane and the rest of the Cobalt… — Becca Ritchie Copy Share Image
I love cookbooks. I certainly have my fair share at home, but I'm a really funny cookbook person: I don't really ever… — Christina Tosi Copy Share Image
I'm usually sort of ambiguous in terms of whether I'm playing a good person or a bad person. I can walk that… — Amy Hill Copy Share Image
The great thing for me about 'The Resurrection of Gavin Stone' is it's a throwback to the old fashioned Hollywood movie that… — D. B. Sweeney Copy Share Image
I advise you all, don't mess with me. I know karate, kung fu, judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.. ;) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I started out, everyone seemed to be adopting these names... Johnny Rotten, Sid Vicious. I wasn't really Rotten or Vicious or… — Billy Idol Copy Share Image
Thanks a lot for coming to my birthday. Let me I almost stretched myself to pick you from home and drop you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Given the current state of publishing, I think it helps to have a brand name on the cover of your book. Comedians… — Michael Showalter Copy Share Image
When I first began to write fiction, I didn't think I was a comic writer; I thought I was a serious writer.… — Anthony Burgess Copy Share Image
My favorite type of pet has always been a dog. They're loyal, kind, and offer endless affection. My friend Eric says, 'The… — Brendon Urie Copy Share Image
The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try… — Jo Brand Copy Share Image
We, as Americans, at least - I mean, I love my country - but we're so self-righteous sometimes, in terms of, like,… — Peter Dinklage Copy Share Image
Our reputations do not come from how we talk about ourselves. Our reputations come from how others talk about us. — Simon Sinek Copy Share Image
“When I was younger I used to think that band-aids did all the work. I mean after all, it binds your wound… — Onee'sha Ford Copy Share Image
3 men were drunk,they stopped a taxi.The taxi driver figured that they were drunk,he just switched on the engine & switched it… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Some fast food places, they have that ketchup pump. It's like a keg. They give you the paper shot glass. I always… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
During a test when the teacher passes by, you cover your answers with your hand so that the teacher cant see how… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Home. The word circled comfortably in my mouth like bubble gum, swished around sweetly soft and satisfying. Home. Try saying it aloud… — Sol Luckman Copy Share Image
Yeah, well, if you eat red meat, it stays in your colon for fifteen years!" Good! I paid for it; I want… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
“You should really smile more Miss.” “Smiling Is overrated.” my voice as sharp as a knife, my voice deadpanned, as I sulked… — Shayla Orick Copy Share Image
