“The problem with our society is that our values aren’t in the right place. There’s an awful lot of bleeding and naked… — Bauvard Funny Copy Share Image
“Mom always said I was born to sit in the electric chair, but I'm proving her wrong. I'm going to die on… — Bauvard Electric chair Copy Share Image
“Folk wisdom: quaint sayings of urban sophisticates compiled from the suburbs.” — Bauvard Folk-wisdom Copy Share Image
“Dentistry is a precondition to love at first sight. When your eyes meet she beams with happiness, but when you smile back… — Bauvard First sight Copy Share Image
“When it’s not enough to veto your children’s tendencies, you must in vitro them.” — Bauvard Children Copy Share Image
“Don't swallow: your bulging, blushing cheeks display the saliva you want to share.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Moderation: a median with no means, praised by those with no misfortunes, practiced by those with no merits.” — Bauvard Funny Copy Share Image
“The smaller the dinner table, the better the side conversation: you can gossip about the guests without fearing whether you will be… — Bauvard Communication Copy Share Image
“Cannibal: epicures who abstain from alcohol and tobacco. As moral guides, they are underutilized in the police forces of modern societies. ” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“I have never sought to displease; I merely seek pleasure and avoid the pain it causes those who work to produce it.… — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“The amount of educational programming on television today is simply desensitizing. The only reason left to go to school is to see… — Bauvard Desensitized Copy Share Image
“Religious fasting is the best way to cure an anorexic's spirit: in heaven her condition will be normal.” — Bauvard Anorexia Copy Share Image
“I ran into an old friend on the street and we started up a conversation. Four hours and six bottles of wine… — Bauvard Communication Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You suggested to split the profits, so I did. I threw one half in the furnace… — Bauvard Dreaming Copy Share Image
“There are lots of things sons shouldn’t imagine about their mothers, above all what it was like to become one.” — Bauvard Parenting Copy Share Image
“Embarrassing facts, those would really help our children remember their classroom lessons better.” — Bauvard Education Copy Share Image
“Every culture has some ritual for joining two people together and making them stay that way, and ours is giving tax breaks.” — Bauvard Culture Copy Share Image
“Aping the lower class will only lead to fatherless children, unusable muscles, and the fear of tomorrow’s sobriety.” — Bauvard Children Copy Share Image
“Bike lane: the section of the road that accommodates wide loads and has speed bumps to protect drunk drivers.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“I compensate for my debauchery by being brilliant at it. I make sacrifices for it by waking up in a gutter covered… — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“The stoic contemplates fallen leaves; the epicure rakes them into a loveseat.” — Bauvard Fallen leaves Copy Share Image
“Spontaneous abortion: the opposite of immaculate conception. God has compensated for Christianity’s violent history by revealing that innocent blood does not have… — Bauvard Immaculate conception Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. I was sitting on your couch, relating my succession of ideas on subconscious influence. I asked… — Bauvard Dreaming Copy Share Image
“When cultivating your garden, keep the soil healthy with encroachers. The most redolent flowers grow over graves.” — Bauvard Gardening Copy Share Image
