Unless each day can be looked back upon by an individual as one in which he has had some fun, some joy,… — Dwight D. Eisenhower Copy Share Image
Do U Know Why Gap Between Fingers? A True Lover Will Come & Fill The Gaps By Holding Ur Hands. Now Plz… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
There is nothing more expensive than a female tear... When a single drop comes out, it first mixes with L'Oreal eyeliner and… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
The age demanded that we dance and jammed us into iron pants. And in the end the age was handed the sort… — Ernest Hemingway Copy Share Image
“I took a bite of lobster meat with rice. It was quite tasty. 'Arguing the morality of slaughter will send you into… — Julie Powell Copy Share Image
I bought a self-help cd online. It was called How to Handle Disappointment. When the package arrived it was empty! — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching… — Kristen Wilson Copy Share Image
“I rolled my eyes, trying to keep my eyes off his body, just the sight of his abs or arms was enough… — Holly Hood Copy Share Image
I love the funny and sweet moments I have with my cats, Jake and Frank, so I'm honored to be celebrating these… — Hannah Simone Copy Share Image
What is funny is when you do a futuristic movie, you immediately get to be fashionable because you're creating something that doesn't… — Olivier Theyskens Copy Share Image
“OCEANA: Are we here to take a tour of the museum? Is this your surprise? ORPHEUS: This is my house. OCEANA: (gasps)… — Scarlett Brukett Copy Share Image
“It is easier to tell a person what life is not, rather than to tell them what it is. A child understands… — Shannon L. Alder Copy Share Image
“Is it necessary, do you think,’ he began, leaning in so close behind me that I could smell his breath, ‘for the… — Danielle Wood Copy Share Image
There's not one thing that inspires me the most. Me and my friends joke around with each other and hang out so… — Adam DeVine Copy Share Image
You re-watch 'Napoleon Dynamite', and there's a lot of thrift shopping that goes on in that movie; there's a lot of funny… — Al Madrigal Copy Share Image
The best place any Christian can ever be in is to be totally destitute and totally dependant upon God, and know it. — Alan Redpath Copy Share Image
It's funny: when I started playing bass in 1984, you had guys like Paul Simonon fron the Clash, John Paul Jones, Lemmy,… — Duff McKagan Copy Share Image
I gambled at the crap table all night and finally lost $8, but during that time the house gave me four drinks… — Jack Benny Copy Share Image
Sorry I ruined the impromptu sing-along by not knowing 80% of the words to the fast part of 'It's the End of… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I love practical jokes and humor. That there's frankly no joke that I don't think is funny. I love practical jokes, but… — Mitt Romney Copy Share Image
All the comedians that I came up with in Chicago - especially the ones at Second City - actively understood when we… — E. R. Fightmaster Copy Share Image
“Can you put your hands on my crotch?” “Why, hell no, I cannot.” I didn’t remember anything like this happening in Pride… — Jennifer Echols Copy Share Image
“Glass half full, or glass half empty, what am I? The answer? I'm not the bloody glass, I'm the fucking tap! Meaning,… — Jimmy Tudeski Copy Share Image
It is obvious that all sense has gone out of modern marriage; which is, however, no objection to marriage but to modernity. — Friedrich Nietzsche Copy Share Image
If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
People who do not have funny in them are not funny when they read funny lines. Sorry. Just doesn't work that way.… — David Dobkin Copy Share Image
I was at a dinner party with a group of people, and we were talking about fake names. You know, how its… — Paul Rudd Copy Share Image
If you're crying a friend will ask you whats wrong a Best friend will go grab a shovel and bury the guy… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Why not? If you're not going to let me see you naked, we might as well be girlfriends." "You're a twisted little… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“Larry’s such a liar--- He tells outrageous lies. He says he’s ninety-nine years old Instead of only five. He says he lives… — Shel Silverstein Copy Share Image
“The way you might fear a cow sitting down in the middle of the street during rush hour, that's how I fear… — Maria Semple Copy Share Image
Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Something about New York, man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you're interested… — Dave Chappelle Copy Share Image
With great power comes great responsibility, . . . . But after Marriage greater responsibility comes without any power.. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I won't say I was slow developer, but our teacher was quite pleased to have someone her own age in the class… — Chic Murray Copy Share Image
Sorry Guys. We haven't time to wrote funny thoughts.reality not a fun.Sometimes later you understand that things but not right now. — Mak_786 Copy Share Image
“Damn it,” I said. “I don't suppose you have any ideas on how to kill Littleton.” He smiled at me, his teeth… — Patricia Briggs Copy Share Image
“In our profession, we tend to name things exactly as we see them. Big red stars we call red giants. Small white… — Neil deGrasse Tyson Copy Share Image
Dear folks join my new P.E.N.I.S foundation (People Encouraging Niceness In Society). P.E.N.I.S it's not hard unless you make it that way. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's funny, when you have a theme so particular to cows - or it could be anything like hair or nails -… — Doja Cat Copy Share Image
