Funny Quotes · Page 15

I was there when I said it.

— Murray Walker

Someone came too sooner.

— Eugene Ormandy

Nah, that's not true.

— Rick Ross

When I try to be healthy

— Anonymous

Is an egg a vegetable?

— Jodie Marsh

Charity never faileth.

— Swami Vivekananda

There is nothing but God.

— Frederick Lenz

Misdirect ALL the time.

— Fred Kaps

God sees in you a masterpiece about to happen

— Max Lucado

Always aspire to become the next you, not someone else

— Prabal Gurung

A dream you dream alone is only a dream.

— John Lennon

You must -- you MUST -- choose well.

— Terry Rossio

He who is whipped oftenest, is whipped easiest.

— Frederick Douglass

Life can be hilariously cruel.

— Bender (The Cartoon Character

We find what we are looking for.

— Marshall Sylver

What you think, so you will become.

— Napoleon Hill

I want to get non-aerosol mace, you just rub it in. "Dude who is attacking me - come a little closer!"

— Mitch Hedberg

If I get caught masturbating, I don't have to explain myself.

— Green Monk

Men are like...Lava Lamps. Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

— Anonymous

I'm out to take the Bible, create disciples who make disciples, disciple cycles...

— LeCrae

I have NEVER worked with a better lead generating company! Thank You Zillow.

— Spencer Rascoff

Remember that true beauty comes from within - from within bottles, jars, compacts, and lipstick tubes

— Jeffree Star

In f-major, c* is a sonority contained within the overtones of the tonic f*.

— Jean-Philippe Rameau

The harder you press the button the stronger the attack would be.

— Anonymous

“They say laughter is the best medicine, and I agree. Plus, it’s free, has no bad side effects and is available to…

— Mindy Levy

Well, I mean, if a joke or humor is bawdy, it's got to be funny enough to warrant it. You can't just…

— Betty White

“We show her that I am no feckless High king.' 'And how do we do that?' I ask. 'With great difficulty,' he…

— Holly Black

When you step out and do a song in a musical, the easier thing to do is make it funny. But when…

— Kelli O'Hara

I love Justin Bieber Well, I love McDonalds but you don't see me making an account pretending to be a fucking chicken…

— Maicy Rasmus

“[Science] works! Planes fly. Cars drive. Computers compute. If you base medicine on science, you cure people. If you base the design…

— Richard Dawkins

“So if you're trying to play games with me, I should let you know up front that it's not going to work.…

— Tehereh Mafi Unravel Me

“W-what do you want?" I asked, thankful that my voice only trembled a little bit. That Cat Didn't blink. "Human," he said,…

— Julie Kagawa

Football's a funny game.

— Adam Lallana

I love funny women.

— Christine and the Queens

Is it true? :P

— Danish

No man u kill me I'm dead!

— MHDAVOODI

I can't do that to myself!

— Clint Eastwood

I don't think I'm funny.

— Liam Neeson

Dreams are sent by God.

— Homer

Ah, tell them they are men!

— Thomas Gray