The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Taylor Swift seems like the type of chick that would poke a hole in a condom. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That which is impossible and probable is better than that which is possible and improbable. — Aristotle Copy Share Image
Some people need to have eggs thrown at them.Brick shaped eggs..made of brick. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients. — Oscar Levant Copy Share Image
Being sued by your own record company, that's even better than receiving a Grammy — Neil Young Copy Share Image
There's a new slimming course just out where they remove all your bones. Not only do you weigh less, but you also… — Chic Murray Copy Share Image
I realise there are situations where I camp it up, make myself into a sort of novelty character to ease things along.… — Perfume Genius Copy Share Image
Repetition is a sign of stupidity. Repetition is a sign of stupidity. Repetition is a sign of stupidity. Repetition is a sign… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Shes a slut for having sex with one guy? Thats funny since Im pretty sure you sleep with more guys every night… — MeaghanB Copy Share Image
Normal Teenager: Makes sure tobe quiet while sneaking out of the house at 1am. Me: Makes sure to be quiet while making… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scientists have determined that the most irritating sound to the human ear is the sound of a knife cutting a glass bottle.… — Peter Sagal Copy Share Image
How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal… — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as a lovely rug, a rug that just so happens to be covering a large hole, you… — Nicole McKay Copy Share Image
