Humor Quotes · Page 401

It's so laughable that it's somewhere beyond comedy and right into tragedy again.

— Libba Bray

I'll go back to comedy clubs when they get a real no-camera policy, the same way they did with smoking.

— Chris Rock

“Not only is he mentally challenged, all he has is a couple of scary fangs and absolutely no idea what kind of…

— Jayde Scott

[ I'm] humorist, I guess. Or really more of a reporter. A reporter who reports on funny things.

— P. J. O'Rourke

“I read the Cannibal Manifesto. The part where it says they like eating people is on page 289.”

— John Alejandro King aka The Covert Comic

“I sheathed my blade and glared at him. "And here I almost thought you weren't a complete bastard." "Well, that's your mistake,…

— Julie Kagawa

A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you're trying material.

— Chris Rock

My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, 'Adam…

— Adam Ferrara

I like to think that even with some of the more intense ones sometimes there is humour in there, you try to…

— Ray Liotta

“If you've spent any time trolling the blogosphere, you've probably noticed a peculiar literary trend: the pervasive habit of writers inexplicably placing…

— Chuck Klosterman

“Kudra was amused by Alobar's tentative polka until her eyes fell upon the tumescent protrusion dancing with him. Disgusting she thought. An…

— Tom Robbins

“The season of domestic goodwill and festivity must have posed a problem to all good Victorian family men with more than one…

— Claire Tomalin

“Wesley went everywhere with me from then on. I even wrapped him in baby blankets and held him in my arms while…

— Stacey O'Brien

I think people are sexy when they have q sense of humor,when they are smart,when they have a sense of style,when they…

— Chin Chin

“I once got engaged to his daughter Honoria, a ghastly dynamic exhibit who read Nietzsche and had a laugh like waves breaking…

— P.G. Wodehouse

Awkwardness is where tension is, and tension is where the story is. It's also where the comedy is, which I'm interested in;…

— Lorrie Moore

The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons.

— David Sedaris

“The prettier the wine bottle, the higher the likelihood sorority girls will buy it.”

— Lauren Leto

“Disrespectful! My grandmothers are both dead." "Well, Jesus. What did they die of?" "Mom always said 'meddling'.”

— Maggie Stiefvater

Laughter or crying is what a human being does when there's nothing else he can do.

— Kurt Vonnegut

“No," Marcus says. "Yes, take it." "Don't want it." "Why so difficult, Marc?" "Who's Marc?" "You are." "Yeah? 'Sup, Gid?”

— Veronica Rossi

“Try any way but you are not going to be happy unless you became my friend.”

— Rahul Bodkhe

A feast is made for laughter, and wine maketh merry: but money answereth all things.

— Bible

The beauty of comedy is, when people come to a comedy club, there is a certain veil of reality suspended.

— Carlos Mencia

“Being a Falconer is about saving the buggers even if they don't deserve it." - Farlan MacNeil”

— Edwin McRae

“Don’t make a big deal out of a small deal - and you know everything is s small deal. Nothing is a…

— Art Hochberg

A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed.

— Anonymous

Because I work in comedy, I can't kick back and watch sitcoms as a form of leisure anymore.

— Esther Povitsky

“The romantic is always intelligent, and I only meant to observe that although we have had foolish romantics, they don't count.”

— Fyodor Dostoyevsky

The Germans have a wonderful combination of pathos, energy, and humor. They are like Californians with an education.

— Joan Juliet Buck

I am one boob, you are the other boob and together? We are breast friends.

— Anonymous

I have to stop crying when I watch "The View". It's not because of the topics at hand, I just feel sorry…

— Zach Galifianakis

“The catch about not looking a gift horse in the mouth is that it may be a Trojan horse.”

— David Seller

“His [Lord Peter's] long, amiable face looked as if it had generated spontaneously from his top hat, as white maggots breed from…

— Dorothy L. Sayers

“The apple doesn't fall far from the tree…unless that tree's growing on top of a hill.”

— John DePrey

Ayo and I started performing together and have done comedy shows in some of the wettest, stinkiest basements of all time.

— Rachel Sennott

I don't see myself as part of an acting fraternity or a comedy fraternity.

— Ricky Gervais

My cousin is gay, I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section.

— Rodney Dangerfield

I have always thought of comedy as an important job and medium, and so I put pressure on myself to do the…

— Miranda Hart

The Reformer is always right about what's wrong. However, he's often wrong about what is right.

— Anonymous