“I wonder if a fish's One and only wish is That other fish will never say, "This fish is sure delicious!” — Brian Rock Copy Share Image
“If ever there was something she needed to stick around and fight for, Luc was that something.” — Rachel Gibson Copy Share Image
“All this for two bad lines he could’ve gotten out of a fortune cookie?” — Zoe Forward Copy Share Image
The edge of inappropriate is the spiritual home of the best stand-up comedy. — Frank Skinner Copy Share Image
So I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said "Are you two an… — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
“Being bigheaded can be as irritating and as dangerous as being small-minded.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I usually balance out autobiography with goofy, amusing stuff to help keep the humour in my more serious work. — Jeffrey Brown Copy Share Image
It's always comedy first on 'Will and Grace.' There was never any other agenda. — Sean Hayes Copy Share Image
Music and comedy, musical comedy, specifically, really helped me through my childhood. I felt out of place, I felt lots of adversity,… — Randy Rainbow Copy Share Image
One thing that bugs me in comedy is when somebody does a fake cry, you know, like they fake cry in a… — Sam Rockwell Copy Share Image
“Her gaze met his. "What do you want more than anything?" Right now, he felt like he could gaze into her green… — Kerrelyn Sparks Copy Share Image
“Ook, though very clever, was the worst fighter in the tribe. That is how he ended up with Grot-Grot as his woman.… — Aussiescribbler Copy Share Image
“working to my potential.' It's like every teacher I have has some sort of manual to use when talking to me. She… — Elizabeth Scott Copy Share Image
“Imagine: If shifting from one universe to another is like moving up or down to parallel layers, overlapping with one universe, then… — E.C. Myers Copy Share Image
“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a… — Michelle Cooper Copy Share Image
People need to write articles and they need to have angles in them and I'm grateful when people are doing articles, but… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“If the girl of my dreams want a man with a hairless chest, I better dream of another girl” — Haresh Daswani Copy Share Image
I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone. Rod Schmidt — Rod Schmidt Copy Share Image
“Oh my God! You little slut! You want to have a good date with him and want to have ten thousand of… — J. Sterling Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night... you made a beard for yourself out of forty two bags of Twizzlers.” — Nicole McKay Copy Share Image
“The dining hall in our section of campus was like something out of an Ayn Rand novel: big, utilitarian, and impersonal.” — Kirstie Collins Brote Copy Share Image
One does not laugh because one is happy; one is happy because one laughs. — Mireille Guiliano Copy Share Image
Watching Billy Connolly at the Hammersmith Apollo in the late 90s was a masterclass of long-form comedy. — Richard Herring Copy Share Image
“One's theories, after all, matter little, it is one's humor that is the great thing.” — Henry James Copy Share Image
Thinks its funny when people read someone elses status & start to wonder if it has something to do with them. — Arjun Loveable Copy Share Image
I still believe that the best art - be it music, comedy, painting, etc. - is the art that hasn't been asked… — Matt Berry Copy Share Image
English language would become poorer if words like 'apology', 'regret' and 'sorry' are withdrawn from usage. — Chandlrababu VS Copy Share Image
A clever, imaginative, humorous request can open closed doors and closed minds. — Percy Ross Copy Share Image
“Sweetheart, the baby keeps you up all night , it’s definitely a boy.” He winks.” — Samantha Towle Copy Share Image
I have tried... believe me, I have tried to like rap music. It makes me feel so very, very old. I have… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
“Why is it that a man always stops to admire another man's work at the worst possible time?” — James Flerlage Copy Share Image
A German singer! I should as soon expect to get pleasure from the neighing of my horse. — Frederick The Great Copy Share Image
“The thing about growing old is that when you wake up with a new pain, you can just about count on it… — Marjorie Pay HInckley Copy Share Image
“I think he could handle being used. It would be good for him. He's having trouble sleeping.” — Victoria Dahl Copy Share Image
“Life is a game I adore. I just wish someone had given me the rule book sooner.” — Dane Waters Copy Share Image
I used to love my neighbors, then one day they put a fucking password on their WIFI — Avalon Copy Share Image
As for movies, what's great about comedy is that if your movie gets laughs and makes money, you have freedom. — Adam McKay Copy Share Image
“You took out a book on blow-job technique from the British Library? They shouldn't have books like that in there!” — Sarra Manning Copy Share Image
I used comedy as a way to combat my dyslexia. I was barely getting by scholastically, so I used a lot of… — Joel McHale Copy Share Image
The Apartment' was fun, but I enjoy comedy much more, and I feel I do it better. — Fred MacMurray Copy Share Image
