Humor Quotes · Page 399

Laughter is the best medicine, daily dose of laughter keeps you active, your mind fresh and most of all makes you happy.

— Anonymous

“I had a dream about you last night. It wasn't until after you sold me the talking car, I realized you were…

— Michael Summers

I guess the essence of my comedy is to get into a very abnormal situation but act like it's normal.

— Fred Willard

A Scot is a man who keeps the Sabbath, and everything else he can lay his hands on.

— Chic Murray

He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met.

— Abraham Lincoln

I have always felt that the rise of what became known as alternative comedy was born out of the loins of the…

— Tony Robinson

After the first few readings in comedy venues I did begin to write for laughs. There's something so gratifying about stimulating laughter.

— Aaron Belz

I sometimes wonder if necrophiliacs are really into dead people or if they just enjoy the quiet.

— Doug Stanhope

I have a tendency toward the pleasures of the flesh. It's a battle for me, as far as weight and things like…

— Chris Farley

Humor does depend on surprise, and the things that people remember as the funniest things in the world, you look at later…

— Matt Groening

The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have…

— W. C. Fields

It so fascinates me how we always laugh when somebody falls on a banana peel, how comedy and injury are often so…

— James Lapine

“Alright, good night,” he said, his words a little slurred. “But before I pass out, I want you to know that you’re…

— Erin McCarthy

“Nearly everywhere I've been, popular wisdom has it that the location of humanity's original planet is unknown, mysterious. In fact it isn't,…

— Ann Leckie

“I paused for a moment, debating whether to turn and look what was happening. My senses told me Obo’s presence was still…

— M.A. George

In comedy, falling means laughter. You can take something sacred and make it silly. The more sacred it is, the funnier it…

— Bo Burnham

“The most powerful sex organ was the brain, you know what that means Poor Justin!”

— Sarah Strohmeyer

“Ish #21 "Stop saying the only meat you eat is chicken. It's still meat!”

— Regina Griffin

I'll watch a Keanu Reeves movie and I'll go, 'Wow, he's really not a very good actor!'

— Ashton Kutcher

“Lucas shook his head. "We haven't caught him yet. We're still looking." "Every ship but your four fastest," I murmured to myself.”

— Cassie Alexander

I love being my silly ole self! Lifes a lot better when you have a good sense of humor and you smile.

— Anonymous

Any time there's a lot of pressure, it's life and death, you go toward this very dark kind of humor. Soldiers do…

— Ronald Perelman

“You have no tail!" said Brightspot. her own whipped suddenly forward; she stared, first at it, then at Wilson."How do you manage?”

— Janet Kagan

“You can keep the ‘aww’ without having the ‘eww,’ creating a stronger plot!”

— Kaylee Stepkoski

I'm not a broad comedy guy. I've been funny in movies, but I'm not a comedian. I'm an actor who's sometimes funny.

— Matthew Lillard

Having a sense of humor is a part of being courageous. It's a source of strength.

— Kerry Kennedy

“Shit,” he said as if she were being funny. “I’m not going near that door. Looks like the devil farted pure hell…

— A.R. Wise

“It's one thing if your hobby is to put ships inside a bottle, but a deer in the headlights!... That's a real…

— Josh Stern

We think our fathers fools, so wise we grow. Our wiser sons, no doubt will think us so.

— Alexander Pope

“But he's nice," Barby objected. Tom Bishop smiled without humor. "Most pleasant and interesting man I ever knew was a burglar.”

— John Blaine

“Oh. My. God. I kissed a prince, I flipping kissed a prince! I flipping tongued him!”

— Luella Christie

“Enough, gentlemen, enough! Show a New World marsupial a little respect”

— Sara Pascoe

“Women are really strange, if you think about it. But this was no ordinary woman. This was a succubus—a life sucking monster.”

— Justin Villanueva

“You know the look: genius gone to pot, and ready to join the Communist Party”

— William Saroyan

If Pete Rose brings the Reds in first, they ought to bronze him and put him in cement.

— Jerry Coleman

“Decided to put aside ethnic differences in the cause of making more money.”

— Terry Pratchett

“Just because i have a fedora on doesn't mean i want to help solve crime, but it also doesn't mean that i…

— Kiersten Zeitler

There's no possibility of being witty without a little ill-nature - the malice of a good thing is the barb that makes…

— Richard Brinsley Sheridan

“Jo's nineteen hair-pins all seemed stuck straight into her head, which was not exactly comfortable; but, dear me, let us be elegant…

— Louisa May Alcott

“twenty-three hours of nonstop traveling over two continents and countless time zones, her sense of humor”

— Leeanna Morgan