Comedian Quote by Demetri Martin Download Open image “People only mention it's a free country if they're doing something shitty.” — Demetri Martin ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.7 out of 5 (3 ratings) Copy quoteShare Comedian Country Doings Free country Freedom Funny Ifs Life People
What a lie it is to call this a free country, where none but the unworthy and undeserving may swear. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I mean, the country was founded on free enterprise. There's good things about it, and there's obviously bad things about it. — Joan Cusack Copy Share Image
Everybody has their own opinion and it's, how you say, a free country. Everybody can speak freely. — Goran Dragic Copy Share Image
Free countries are great, because you can actually sit in somebody else's space for a while and pretend you're a part of it. You… — Andy Warhol Copy Share Image
It's a free country and I can keep my mouth shut whenever I want — James Van Der Beek Copy Share Image
And this Nation, for all its hopes and all its boasts, will not be fully free until all its citizens are free. — John F. Kennedy Copy Share Image
No country and no people can be free and ignorant at the same time. — Thomas Jefferson Copy Share Image
I think hair gel was invented to make it easier to identify assholes from a distance. — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
When someone describes themself as a taxpayer, they're about to be an asshole. — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole who's standing in front… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
Skiing is my favorite sport, because, that's the only sport that is actually better to watch the worst the person is at it. "That… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
I know about Woodstock probably as much as your average person who is over 30, where I'd know Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Grateful Dead. — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert. — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
THING TO TRY: If you are asked to describe a suspect to a police sketch artist, describe in precise detail, the features of the… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
I would say most comedians have a very cynical worldview of the way the world can work. It's almost like if you didn't, you… — Colin Quinn Copy Share Image
At one point when I was very young, when I was first starting out, I thought, 'Well, one day I'll be able to put… — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
I like to turn up my collar when I'm leaving the theatre and feel like I'm some heroic comedian figure. — Frank Skinner Copy Share Image
The only difference between a comedian and someone else? We need to make people laugh more. — Greg Davies Copy Share Image
When a soldier of the night's watch dies they say, "And now his watch is over." That's what they say when a comedian dies.… — Brad Williams Copy Share Image
My mom is two people to me. She's my mom number one, and then she's this lady most comedians know as being a legendary… — Pauly Shore Copy Share Image
I wouldn't mind gigging around the same era as Jesus, after he gives his speech about the meek and how blessed they are and… — Jim Jefferies Copy Share Image
If someone doesn't like a comedian that's fine; a lot of people probably don't like my standup, and that's fine. But I think that… — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
It's very rare that an older comedian sort of slips into an old-school clunker. You know, you don't hear too much of that anymore. — Jeff Ross Copy Share Image
I was a kid, and I would watch standup comics do the 'Tonight Show,' and if Johnny Carson liked you, he'd wave you over… — Jo Koy Copy Share Image
Gary Greenberg is a thoughtful comedian and a cranky philosopher and a humble pest of a reporter, equal parts Woody Allen, Kierkegaard, and Columbo. The Book of Woe is a profound, and profoundly entertaining, riff on malady, power, and truth. This book is for those of us (i.e. all of us) who've ever wondered what it means, and what's at… — Gideon Lewis-Kraus Copy Share
For me, comedians are like the epitome for everything great, and they terrify me. I just want to be them. I want to be… — Tatiana Maslany Copy Share Image
![“I wouldn't mind gigging around the same era as Jesus, after he gives his speech about the meek and how blessed they are and all that type of bullshit, going up there and doing a flat 20 [minutes]. I reckon I'd have better stagecraft and presence than Jesus. Yea, I'm a better stand-up comedian than…” quote by Jim Jefferies](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/0fb/jim-jefferies-8092_blessed_i-wouldn-t-mind-gigging-around-the-same_24477.jpg)
