Quote by David Sedaris Download Open image ““I’m not sure how long I lay there, blissed-out and farting.”” — David Sedaris ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.3 out of 5 (6 ratings) Copy quoteShare
“He wondered how many lives had been snuffed out by that fart.” — George R.R. Martin Copy Share Image
“I woke up in my bathroom, startled. I had nodded off while pooping. Long goddamned day.” — David Wong Copy Share Image
“Nice one, Zoey. You did everything short of farting in there. Maybe if you see him again, you can tell him you have a… — R.L. Naquin Copy Share Image
“Me? I’m nothing. I’m a fart in the air conditioning. I’m always there, but most of the time nobody knows it.” — Orson Scott Card Copy Share Image
I don't feel so good." Lula said. And she farted. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart. "Excuse me."… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“What’s so special about being a human? I’ve had farts that have lingered longer than a human lifespan.” — Robert Bevan Copy Share Image
“...slept too long. And I don’t much like the world I woke up to.” — Robert Charles Wilson Copy Share Image
“The idea of spending another six hours with Leon and his farts was more than I could take.” — John Scalzi Copy Share Image
“Plenty of animals had pets, but few were more devoted than the mouse, who owned a baby corn snake—“A rescue snake, she’d be quick… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“never fall asleep in a Dumpster, never underestimate a bee, never drive a convertible behind a flatbed truck, never get old, never get drunk… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“It was a father, one hand resting teapot-style on his hip, and the other - what would be the spout - formed into a… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“A Japanese woman we’d met in Paris came to the apartment yesterday and spent several hours explaining our appliances. The microwave, the water kettle,… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
One thing I like about the United States, and I kind of miss about the United States, is there's an election coming up here… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
When you read comic material and people aren't laughing how do you know they're listening. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“You have how many children in your family?" the teacher would ask. "I'm guessing you must be Catholic, am I right?” — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“Like most seasoned phonies, I roundly suspect that everyone is as disingenuous as I am.” — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“You just take and take don´t you? Out there with your thumb in the air—not a care in the world, just grabbing whatever you… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
In other parts of the country people tried to stay together for the sake of the children. In New York they tried to work… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
My boyfriend got me a computer three years ago. I'll admit it does make things a lot easier. When I was working on a… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
