Sleep isn't cutting it for me anymore I need something stronger — Nikhil Saluja Sleep Copy Share Image
Beating a women is unacceptable. Period. She tries to hit you first, do like I do and tickle her until she pisses… — Nikhil Saluja Beating Copy Share Image
Chicks with 6 pack abs come into the bedroom with WWE entrance music. — Nikhil Saluja Bedroom Wwe Copy Share Image
Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with a delivered baby. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Nothing makes me feel more grown up than using Facebook for actual social networking instead of stalking my exes. — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
Watched a movie with my wife last night, I was on the edge of my seat. Fat bitch. — Nikhil Saluja Last night Copy Share Image
If Girls Walk In A Group Its A Group If Boys Walk In A Group Its A GANG.. ! — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
Strarted banging a stripper named Amazing, she's not all that, but at least I get to say I'm fucking Amazing. — Nikhil Saluja Stripper Copy Share Image
The only reason I'd ask what happen today, is to steal some ideas to tweet. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
There's always that one asshole who says at band camp when someone else says that one time... — Nikhil Saluja Asshole Copy Share Image
Two heads are better than one - undeniable proof that men are the superior sex. — Nikhil Saluja Men Superior Copy Share Image
Caught my 5 year old playing with my phone and she bought a gun online. — Nikhil Saluja Bought Copy Share Image
You are true... when you admit there are times you fool yourself. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I'm bored. Maybe I should leave the house and check twitter from somewhere else. — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
My friend just came out as being gay to me today. I was so shocked I nearly choked on his cock. — Nikhil Saluja Friendship Copy Share Image
Live for what tomorrow has to Offer, not for what yesterday has taken away.! — Nikhil Saluja Live Copy Share Image
Most people are lucky and only look horrible in the mornings. I look horrible at all times during the day. — Nikhil Saluja Morning Copy Share Image
If you ever want to test someone's patience, give them a laptop with a slow internet connection. — Nikhil Saluja Internet connection Copy Share Image
Some guys refer to their wife as the old ball 'n chain. I refer to mine as the old nagging cunt. — Nikhil Saluja Cunt Copy Share Image
He had occasional flashes of silence, that made his conversation perfectly delightful. — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
Two red blood cells met and fell in love. But alas, it was in vein. — Nikhil Saluja Blood Copy Share Image
Maturity is the capacity to face unpleasantness and frustration, discomfort and defeat, without complaint or collapse. — Nikhil Saluja Aging Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A process much like a cafeteria -- you carefully look over the choices, select what looks the best -- and pay… — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When You can outlast the Energizer bunny. — Nikhil Saluja Coffee Copy Share Image
Guys who piss on toilet seats are fucking assholes. You know how I know? Because I'm that fucking asshole. — Nikhil Saluja Assholes Copy Share Image
My wife and I argue a lot. She's so touchy. The least little thing sets her off. You're lucky. Mine's a self-starter! — Nikhil Saluja Marriage Copy Share Image
Technology: Pee on the iPhone 5, it turns pink if you're pregnant. — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
Nowadays people spend more time cleaning the touchscreen of their cellphone than they spend cleaning their genitals. — Nikhil Saluja Cellphone Copy Share Image
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. — Nikhil Saluja Baseball Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, is when a husband can determine when his wife comes to the end of one argument and begins the next; — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
Sometimes We ignore the obvious because we get too caught up in being hopeful. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
They say you are what you eat, which is ironic 'cause I always thought guys who don't eat pussy were the biggest… — Nikhil Saluja Pussy Copy Share Image
What are three words a woman never wants to hear when she's making love? Honey, I'm home. — Nikhil Saluja Love Copy Share Image
I have nothing against gay people, to be honest my girl and I love anal sex. — Nikhil Saluja Anal Copy Share Image
