Alarm clocks are like teachers, they wake you up and piss you off. — Nikhil Saluja Alarm clock Copy Share Image
Holidays means relatives around the house. Relatives around the house means I need to wear pants. This is bullshit. — Nikhil Saluja Holiday Copy Share Image
If you aren't treating her right, don't be mad when someone else steps in and does your job. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I never commit hate crimes because I'm against discrimination and assaulting random strangers is much more fun. — Nikhil Saluja Crime Copy Share Image
The only way to let somebody know they are being a dick, is by acting like a bigger dick. This explains my… — Nikhil Saluja Life Copy Share Image
Cocks are a lot like ovens. You would rather a woman was operating it but sometimes you have to use it yourself. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Why do dogs love their daily walks? They get to check their p-mail! — Nikhil Saluja Dog Copy Share Image
Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone. — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down. — Nikhil Saluja Books Copy Share Image
God Thought That He Couldn't Be Everywhere He Made A MOTHER. The Devil Thought That He Couldn't Be Everywhere He Made A… — Nikhil Saluja God Copy Share Image
My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION - Stop acting like your father! — Nikhil Saluja Behavior modification Copy Share Image
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain: Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty. — Nikhil Saluja Beauty Copy Share Image
I like to make chicks laugh so hard they accidentally put my penis into their mouth. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, SMART, One who thinks twice before saying nothing; — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
My biggest fear is being in a plane crash and not be able to tweet about it. — Nikhil Saluja Biggest fear Copy Share Image
The only time I wish I was a fat guy is when I have to fight a fat guy. — Nikhil Saluja Time Copy Share Image
'Unfollowers' Spelled backwards is srewollofnu. Which sounds like screw all of you. Coincidence? I think not — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The other day a girl wearing a shirt that says I'm just waiting for a better day so I Smooched her &… — Nikhil Saluja Better day Copy Share Image
My sarcasm is so advanced that people actually think I'm stupid. — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
Love is not measured by Hugging, Kissing. sweet words and separating. Love is measured by trusting, inviting, clothless intimating and allowing with… — Nikhil Saluja Love Copy Share Image
The best thing to do after a good night's sleep is to take a nap. — Nikhil Saluja Sleep Copy Share Image
