Woman say:I'LL BE READY IN A MINUTE. Woman means:I'm ready, but I'm going to make you wait because I know you will. — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I showed my therapist some of my tweets and now she's seeing a therapist. — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
I wish pussy could talk just so that my dick would have the pleasure of shutting it the fuck up. — Nikhil Saluja Nigga Copy Share Image
The best feeling in the world is knowing you finally took a step in the right direction, a step towards a better… — Nikhil Saluja Best feeling Copy Share Image
If I ask to suck your boobs when I wake up, does that count as sleeping like a baby? — Nikhil Saluja Boobs Copy Share Image
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (Please only read this on your birthday. Thanks.) — Nikhil Saluja Birthday Copy Share Image
Having to poop after a shower is basically your body's way of pranking you. — Nikhil Saluja Poop Copy Share Image
If a girl asks you if she's fat, you either say no or absolutely not. — Nikhil Saluja Asks Copy Share Image
You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When You can't even remember your second cup. — Nikhil Saluja Coffee Copy Share Image
Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone. — Nikhil Saluja Experience Copy Share Image
Good girls loosen a few buttons when its hot Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons Naughty girls unbutton… — Nikhil Saluja Bad girl Copy Share Image
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more fucked up than you think. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
When somebody says Expect the unexpected slap them in the face and say You didn't expect that, did you? — Nikhil Saluja Expect the unexpected Copy Share Image
No matter how good she looks, Some other guy is sick and tired Of putting up with her shit. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When You channel surf faster without a remote. — Nikhil Saluja Coffee Copy Share Image
DON'T PISS ME OFF! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES. — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
The right people who belong in your life will come to you & stay. — Nikhil Saluja Belong Copy Share Image
Happiness is not the end of problems but the ability to deal with them — Nikhil Saluja Ability Copy Share Image
You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug. — Nikhil Saluja Coffee Copy Share Image
Porn Rule: Women's panties become soaked with moisture at the slightest suggestion of sex. — Nikhil Saluja Panties Copy Share Image
Ladies don't be afraid to get naughty. Rock his world and leave him begging for more! — Nikhil Saluja Alcohol Copy Share Image
Smile. It confuses people. Then hit them over the head with an iron pipe and take their wallet. — Nikhil Saluja Smile Copy Share Image
I read the newspaper every day just to see if there's anyone I know in the obituaries or the underwear ads. — Nikhil Saluja Every day Copy Share Image
Husbands are like guns ... keep one around for long enough and you're gonna want to shoot it! — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Guys: if one of your homeboys watches Twilight, it's your job as a man to call him a bitch. — Nikhil Saluja Bitch Copy Share Image
I like you much that I don't want any other girl to have you but yet not enough to see me with… — Nikhil Saluja Girl Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you're chatting with someone and see '….. is typing' and then they end up writing nothing. — Nikhil Saluja Awkward Copy Share Image
I like my porn like I like my food; homemade and sometimes on the kitchen table. — Nikhil Saluja Food Copy Share Image
Women over 200 pounds with a visible thong should have to register as sex offenders. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I just puked and some inspirational tweets came out. Now I know where some of you get your tweets from! — Nikhil Saluja Inspiration Copy Share Image
Found out my girlfriend has been selling her pussy but it's OK she's just playing tricks on me. — Nikhil Saluja Girlfriend Copy Share Image
The British Royal Family had to be Gujjus - love dressing gaudy whenever they step out. — Nikhil Saluja Love Copy Share Image
Instagram and nightclubs are where ugly people go to trick people into thinking they're hot. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
If you're going to act like a pussy, you should at least dress like one... Here I bought you the smallest dildo… — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
I don't delete tweets that don't get retweeted. I hug them and tell them they're just as special. — Nikhil Saluja Delete Copy Share Image
If you're a cowboy who likes to line dance always remember, the girl behind you is secretly calling you a pussy. — Nikhil Saluja Cowboy Copy Share Image
I'm husband material (Getting fatter, balding, emotionally distant, intermittently angry for no reason — Nikhil Saluja Husband material Copy Share Image
Whenever you're sad just remember that you dont look like you did in 6th grade. — Nikhil Saluja Remember Copy Share Image
Alcoholic: A person you don't like who drinks as much as you do. — Nikhil Saluja Alcoholic Copy Share Image
