Nikhil Saluja

If you don't like sex, fuck you!

— Nikhil Saluja

Ways of Life : We lie the loudest when we lie to ourselves.

— Nikhil Saluja

Whoever said there is a solution to every problem wasn't ugly.

— Nikhil Saluja

Think the editable and edit the thinkable.

— Nikhil Saluja

Eunuch: What you do when the doorbell is out of order

— Nikhil Saluja

A woman is as faithful as her options.

— Nikhil Saluja

I already kept my next Ex on my Hit list .

— Nikhil Saluja

I tend to say 'I don't know' when I don't feel like thinking.

— Nikhil Saluja

Lets be honest here, whenever we get a new phone.. we treat it like a new born baby.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you don't give kids the middle finger when their parents are not looking, we can't be friends.

— Nikhil Saluja

The only way to let somebody know they are being a dick, is by acting like a bigger dick. This explains my…

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVER(S), People who never get tired of each other because they are always talking about themselves;

— Nikhil Saluja

I love challenges. That's why I leave everything to the last minute.

— Nikhil Saluja

Ladies : You should never change yourself for a guy other than waxing your vagina.

— Nikhil Saluja

I've learned that we don't have to ditch bad friends because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.

— Nikhil Saluja

Money cant buy Happiness, but it pays for internet, which is pretty much the same thing.!!

— Nikhil Saluja

Suicide is just like going to a dinner without your phone.

— Nikhil Saluja

Men don't grow up. They just get bigger.

— Nikhil Saluja

I always start my diet on the same day. Tommorow!

— Nikhil Saluja

I like my sex like I like my tweets, Forced and meaningless.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sex with your wife - Legal & General

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm so underfollowed - Every twitter user.

— Nikhil Saluja

Window: What I hope to do when I go to Las Vegas

— Nikhil Saluja

I lost her at stop telling me about your funny tweets

— Nikhil Saluja

You have an Instagram talent! - No one

— Nikhil Saluja

Just found out there are websites other than twitter.

— Nikhil Saluja

You are humble... when you do not know how humble you are.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, A word that should be pronounced as mirage;

— Nikhil Saluja

Midnight snack? You mean vagina.

— Nikhil Saluja

In this economy, it's hard to find twerk.

— Nikhil Saluja

The best wingman is a woman. Unless you get into a fight.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm organizing a baby shower for my girlfriend. She's a midget.

— Nikhil Saluja

Dealing with assholes is a perfect timepass.

— Nikhil Saluja

Doing absolutely nothing is even more addictive than twitter.

— Nikhil Saluja

Love is a dream, marriage an alarm clock.

— Nikhil Saluja

Did You Get A Haircut? No, It Just Grew Shorter

— Nikhil Saluja

Hitler would've loved Justin Bieber, too.

— Nikhil Saluja

That amazing moment when you smack the remote and it works!

— Nikhil Saluja

A burp is just a fart that took the elevator…

— Nikhil Saluja

My new theory on inertia doesn't seem to be gaining momentum.

— Nikhil Saluja