21 years old and I still laugh every time the ketchup bottle makes a fart noise. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I pee in the toilets of my enemies, so that when they flush my pee comes out” — Sun Tzu Copy Share Image
Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart? — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
I still like farts. I still think farts are some of the funniest things. — Thomas Middleditch Copy Share Image
So, you're worried that a pink dragon will fly over the concent and fart nerve gas on us? — Neal Stephenson Copy Share Image
I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
“I have to pee so bad I can taste it! Not only is my glass half empty, someone peed in it. Like… — Dawn Kopman Whidden Copy Share Image
My friends call me DiCaprio because my farts sound like that sound in the Inception trailer. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm not sure if I'm an introvert or extrovert. I love being around people, but sometimes I do need to go off… — Joe Lycett Copy Share Image
I think it's so rude when I fart in public and not a single person is polite enough to tell me, God… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm into paradoxes. I wanted to make an album about them, but the group told me I was a pretentious fart. They… — Brian May Copy Share Image
Confucius once said that a bear could not fart at the North Pole without causing a big wind in Chicago. — Philip Jose Farmer Copy Share Image
“I'm not a big scatology fan, unlike my sons, who can amuse themselves for an entire afternoon by repeating the phrase 'crocodile… — A.J. Jacobs Copy Share Image
“Farty McFart Pants Stinky McFarter Captain Fart-a-lot The Fartinator The Vominator The Snotinator (he has a gun called the Booger Blaster) Captain… — Lee M. Winter Copy Share Image
“Well, there's two kinds of peeing...There's regular peeing, because you have to pee. And then there's auxiliary competitive peeing. For acquiring empire.… — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
I wrote the book based on a blog that I keep. I also tweet. I don't think that for an incredibly old… — Tom Peters Copy Share Image
Even the idea of a fart makes me laugh. Saying the word 'fart' makes me laugh. I have iFart on my phone.… — George Clooney Copy Share Image
I don’t read Scripture and cling to no life precepts, except perhaps to Walter Cronkite’s rules for old men, which he did… — Roger Angell Copy Share Image
“every particle being connected with every other; you can't fart without changing the balance in the universe. It makes living a funny… — Philip K. Dick Copy Share Image
The moral of the story is we're here on Earth to fart around. And, of course, the computers will do us out… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
I once lay in a white hospital for the dying and the dying self, where some god pissed a rain of reason… — Charles Bukowski Copy Share Image
“Television, my dear Daniel, is the Antichrist, and I can assure you that after only three or four generations, people will no… — Carlos Ruiz Zafón Copy Share Image
“My sweet little whorish Nora I did as you told me, you dirty little girl, and pulled myself off twice when I… — James Joyce Copy Share Image
Everybody has opinions: I have them, you have them. And we are all told from the moment we open our eyes, that… — Harlan Ellison Copy Share Image
Stop It, stop lighting your butthol on fire, and everybody listen to me. If you light your ass on fire, I hope… — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
Harriet Jones: When they fart, if you'll pardon the word, it doesn't smell like a fart, pardon the word, it's like something… — Russell T Davies Copy Share Image
Many individuals spend a considerable portion of their lifetimes in terror of one imagined catastrophe or another. The classic is that your… — L. Neil Smith Copy Share Image
Clichés are static, the emotion behind them long spent. If you are tempted to use them, here is a saying of my… — Amy Tan Copy Share Image
