Many individuals spend a considerable portion of their lifetimes in terror of one imagined catastrophe or another. The classic is that your… — L. Neil Smith Copy Share Image
My dad was proud of himself when he farted. He sounds like he's strangling a chicken when he farts. — Carl Barron Copy Share Image
Since Jesus was human then he most assuredly farted and burped. And if God did create us in God's image then God… — Sherman Alexie Copy Share Image
I'm never going to write fart jokes, because I feel like I have a responsibility to the audience to give them good… — Dan Schneider Copy Share Image
There are more microbes per person than the entire population of the world. Imagine that. Per person. This means that if the… — Alan Bennett Copy Share Image
“This Nicholas anon leet fle a fart As greet as it had been a thonder-dent, That with the strook he was almoost… — Geoffrey Chaucer Copy Share Image
So, you're worried that a pink dragon will fly over the concent and fart nerve gas on us? — Neal Stephenson Copy Share Image
If mugs made fart noises coffee shops wouldn't be relaxing, they'd sound like a yoga class in a retirement home. — Desi Lydic Copy Share Image
I swear, guys in groups are capable of the stupidest things." "Like war," Kellan says, heaping napkins and ketchup packets onto her… — Jay Asher Copy Share Image
When I was at school I got lines for dropping a big squelchy, loud fart. My teacher, who was a priest, made… — Brian McFadden Copy Share Image
On the downside, to paraphrase Thom Yorke talking about the music business, we're still having to deal with the stench of the… — Edward Norton Copy Share Image
Love is the fart Of every heart It pains the man when 'tis kept close, And others doth offend, when 'tis let… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I am of a different mind ten times in the course of a day. But I resist the devil, and often it… — Martin Luther Copy Share Image
There's a Drunk Midget in My House Ah, babies! They're more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
Clichés are static, the emotion behind them long spent. If you are tempted to use them, here is a saying of my… — Amy Tan Copy Share Image
No Angie, it's instant. Like when someone trips in the cafeteria and you're laughing so hard milk comes out of your nose,… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
Sometimes I wish Marta were more loyal to me. Like the other day. The car parked next to ours had a real… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
I don't really know. I think the first test is when you're very little and you fart, and you laugh at it… — Joel McHale Copy Share Image
There is nothing fiercer than a failed artist. The energy remains, but, having no outlet, it implodes in a great black fart… — Erica Jong Copy Share Image
Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts. — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
