“Well, it was so quiet you could have heard a molecule fart three states away.” — T.J. Klune Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when you think you do a silent fart and it comes out like a machine gun. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm into paradoxes. I wanted to make an album about them, but the group told me I was a pretentious fart. They… — Brian May Copy Share Image
I suppose that the main benefit of being rich (over just being independent) is to be able to despise rich people (a… — Nassim Nicholas Taleb Copy Share Image
At one time or another, farts have coincided with every other sound, including this quote. — Craig Benzine Copy Share Image
If I'm alone in the car and I fart, I still laugh at it. It's the little things that keep us civilised. — Dana Gould Copy Share Image
I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction.… — Graham Chapman Copy Share Image
“I want to do it too!” said Gazzy, sitting very, very quietly, completely motionless. “Nope,” said Nudge, shaking her head. “You stand… — James Patterson Copy Share Image
I love baseball. I'll probably end up one of those old farts who go to spring training in Florida every year and… — Steve Earle Copy Share Image
“Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement, it is too fleeting;… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I don’t read Scripture and cling to no life precepts, except perhaps to Walter Cronkite’s rules for old men, which he did… — Roger Angell Copy Share Image
Stop It, stop lighting your butthol on fire, and everybody listen to me. If you light your ass on fire, I hope… — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
I'm not a fan of purposely farting in front of other people. If you have to fart, leave the room. — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
Even the idea of a fart makes me laugh. Saying the word 'fart' makes me laugh. I have iFart on my phone.… — George Clooney Copy Share Image
Electronic communities build nothing. You wind up with nothing. We are dancing animals. How beautiful it is to get up and go… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
Because nitrous oxide [released by nitrate-fertilised soil] is 296 times stronger than COâ‚‚ at global warming and methane [cow farts] is about… — Thom Hartmann Copy Share Image
Don't be more serious than God. God invented dog farts. God designed your body's plumbing system. God designed an ostrich. If He… — Peter Kreeft Copy Share Image
Purple light passed over the paper, but nothing happened. "Next!" Amy said. She was sure the man in black was going to… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
I make niggas eat dirt and fart dust, Then give you a $80 gift certificate to Pussies "Я" Us. — Ludacris Copy Share Image
When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell. — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
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