That awkward moment when you're in a library and you want to fart so badly... — Epifania Savea Copy Share Image
They say shitting is a call of nature does that mean farting is a missed call? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“He wondered how many lives had been snuffed out by that fart.” — George R.R. Martin Copy Share Image
Confucius once said that a bear could not fart at the North Pole without causing a big wind in Chicago. — Philip Jose Farmer Copy Share Image
I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. — James Joyce Copy Share Image
I like to tell people when I have to go pee o.o and I really do have to go this second. just… — Patience Copy Share Image
I'm only interested in heavy metal when it's me who's playing it. I suppose it's a bit like smelling your own farts. — John Entwistle Copy Share Image
Get out of bed to pee or stay in bed where I'm comfortable? Just another one of life's many tough decisions.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let me see if I can put this in scientific terms: Think of autism like a fart, and vaccines are the finger… — Jenny McCarthy Copy Share Image
Smokers, be considerate, please. What makes you think I'd like to inhale your 2nd-hand smoke? Would you like to inhale my fart? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Lying in bed in the middle of the night trying to decide if its worth it to get up and pee or… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don’t read Scripture and cling to no life precepts, except perhaps to Walter Cronkite’s rules for old men, which he did… — Roger Angell Copy Share Image
“every particle being connected with every other; you can't fart without changing the balance in the universe. It makes living a funny… — Philip K. Dick Copy Share Image
The moral of the story is we're here on Earth to fart around. And, of course, the computers will do us out… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
It seems that when you have cancer you are a brave battler against the disease, but when you have Alzheimer's you are… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
There's a Drunk Midget in My House Ah, babies! They're more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
A sneeze travels at a peak velocity of two hundred miles per hour. A burp, more slowly; a fart, slower yet. But… — Tom Robbins Copy Share Image
Hayley: (To Stan) You know, Steve's dog would still be alive if you right-wing lunatics would agree to gun control. Stan: You… — American Dad Copy Share Image
I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction.… — Graham Chapman Copy Share Image
Clichés are static, the emotion behind them long spent. If you are tempted to use them, here is a saying of my… — Amy Tan Copy Share Image
“amount to a fart in a cyclone. His parents and their parson had tried to sell him the same message, binding him… — Don Pendleton Copy Share Image
I'm such an old fart that I started buying books on film and TV and radio and music when, for television, the… — David Bianculli Copy Share Image
“What happened next… well, I'm going to blame it on the fact that I was scared. And I had just flown or… — Dinah Katt Copy Share Image
“These guys fart a lot as well. I'm not saying that girls don't. We just aren't as passionate about them. The smell… — Melina Marchetta Copy Share Image
I always thought if you really want to be a good actor, you've got to be able to fart in public. That,… — Timothy Carey Copy Share Image
“Heat radiated off Henry's face. Salty snot ran down his upper lip. A majestic fart propelled him to the top of Section… — Chad Harbach Copy Share Image
Sean: My wife used to fart when she was nervous. She had all sorts of wonderful little idiosyncrasies. She used to fart… — Good Will Hunting Copy Share Image
