“Well, it was so quiet you could have heard a molecule fart three states away.” — T.J. Klune Copy Share Image
Most people enjoy the sight of their own handwriting as they enjoy the smell of their own farts. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If I'm alone in the car and I fart, I still laugh at it. It's the little things that keep us civilised. — Dana Gould Copy Share Image
That terrifiying moment when you have to pee really bad and you can't unbutton your pants. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Men's Three Rules Of Getting Old 1. Never pass a bathroom 2. Never waste a hard-on 3. Never trust a fart — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Some people get lots of pleasure; From books or from music or art; But boys seem to think it's fantastic; To just… — Giles Andreae Copy Share Image
If mugs made fart noises coffee shops wouldn't be relaxing, they'd sound like a yoga class in a retirement home. — Desi Lydic Copy Share Image
“We are here on Earth to fart around, and don’t let anybody tell you any different. KURT VONNEGUT, JR.” — Christopher Ryan Copy Share Image
“She fart ... Then (They laughed) ... (She also) ... Then ... She said: "I am hungry” — Deyth Banger Copy Share Image
“This is an old house. Among the oldest in the area, a white clapboard former farmhouse built in 1748. Fart on the… — Nina Malkin Copy Share Image
Robert Plant asked me to marry him, but I said 'no.' I mean, you just don't want to marry someone you've wanted… — Tori Amos Copy Share Image
“Suddenly, she emitted a loud, long fart, like air escaping a beach ball, exhaust pipe of a Model T, tire-inflating hose at… — Dennis Vickers Copy Share Image
You know what, I think maybe it's because men like to fart, and the host wants to be able to sit in… — Wanda Sykes Copy Share Image
“I fart, you fart, he farts, she farts. Let’s not deny it, people. Farting is a regular, healthy, and hilarious part of… — Neil Pasricha Copy Share Image
[To Edward de Vere, Earl of Oxford, on his return from self-imposed exile, occasioned by the embarrassing flatulence he had experienced in… — Elizabeth I Copy Share Image
“GUY TIP #18: Just because you can urinate anywhere you want doesn't mean you should-even if your aim is so good you… — Jenny O'Connell Copy Share Image
...And nostalgia is a cancer. Nostalgia will fill your heart up with tumors. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what you are. You're just… — Sherman Alexie Copy Share Image
Jerry Ford is so dumb he can't fart and chew gum at the same time. — Lyndon B. Johnson Copy Share Image
I have more talent in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body. — Walter Matthau Copy Share Image
![“[To Edward de Vere, Earl of Oxford, on his return from self-imposed exile, occasioned by the embarrassing flatulence he had experienced in the presence of the Queen:] My Lord, I had forgot the fart.” quote by Elizabeth I](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/70f/elizabeth-i-3475_embarrassing_to-edward-de-vere-earl-of-oxford-on-his_732567.jpg)
