Fart Quotes · Page 5

Love is like fart. If you have to force it , its probably shit.

— Katy Zander

“She fart ... Then (They laughed) ... (She also) ... Then ... She said: "I am hungry”

— Deyth Banger

If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus.

— Robin Williams

I trip and I burp and I fart, like everybody else.

— Britney Spears

Im not the type of bitch to get all serious and shit, but I just farted.

— Patience

This fart is coming from…inside my half pants.

— Nikhil Saluja

“Who needs an alarm clock you you have a bladder”

— T. Haque

Farting is natures way of telling someone to fuck off but in a nicer way.

— Nikhil Saluja

I play around with my Japanese Garden. Since Im half way to 70 today I need to start pruning trees and sharpening…

— Jason Bateman

That awkward moment when you bend down to get something in a silent room, fart and everyone looks at you..

— Anonymous

Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.

— Tina Fey

You can never guess what a kid's going to find funny - besides, you know, an obvious fart joke here and there.

— Genndy Tartakovsky

They didn't trademark everything back then. Now someone farts and they put a TM after it. Even Miller Lite says 'A Fine…

— Michael Jackson

Pity, I've learned, is like a fart. You can tolerate your own, but you simply can't stand anyone else's.

— Jonathan Tropper

I have a pacemaker in, but it doesn't work very well, because every time I fart the garage door opens.

— Frank Carson

If you bleach your asshole and add ammonia... would you fart Mustard Gas? ' Asking for a Friend

— Nikhil Saluja

“One thing that I used to believe that has stuck with me is, of course, that farts are funny. Burps, too. Sneezes,…

— Greg Knauss

“What the hell do you know? You don’t understand what Hollywood wants. I need to be skinny.” “Okay. Okay. How about a…

— Elise Sax

Spending so much time on the road, I get to fart all the time. Then when it's, like, Thanksgiving dinner and I'm…

— Tom DeLonge

People say that you always have to tell the truth. But they do not mean this because you are not allowed to…

— Mark Haddon

When I was at school I got lines for dropping a big squelchy, loud fart. My teacher, who was a priest, made…

— Brian McFadden

“This Nicholas anon leet fle a fart As greet as it had been a thonder-dent, That with the strook he was almoost…

— Geoffrey Chaucer

“I'm past competing in pissing contests. My jet stream is now more of a trickle. The only contest I'd win is the…

— Brian MacLearn

For me, I need to be able to show up on set and fart around and goof around. If I can have…

— Betsy Brandt

Though I've turned 21, I don't drink. I'm an old hag now. I'm just an old fart.

— Mena Suvari

“Males and farts. Any species, any planet, didn’t matter.”

— Ilona Andrews

That moment were you got to pee but don't want to get up

— Michael

That Awkward Moment when your fart out loud in public

— InFinity

“Nope, you stick out like a fart in a church.”

— James Patterson

Admit it, you've farted & blamed it on somebody else before.

— Anonymous

Any man can fart in a closed room and say that he commands the wind

— Scott Lynch

I hate boys that fart and shit in front of me/on the phone to me.

— Anonymous

You Know the Most Dangerous Thing In the Water? A Shark Fart.

— Gary Busey

Thought hadda fart and I really had to dookie

— Gucci Mane

“A man who farts in bed . . . is a man who loves life.”

— Muriel Barbery

I don't usually fly in first class, but I fart in first class.

— Demetri Martin

A happy fart never comes from a miserable ass.

— Martin Luther

Verbal contracts are about as useful as a fart on a treadmill.

— Robert Rinder

“Well, it was so quiet you could have heard a molecule fart three states away.”

— T.J. Klune

The average pregnant woman farts 15 times that!

— Jessica Simpson