Joe, you're always complaining I don't eat. If I don't eat, how am I gonna fart? — Lucky Luciano Copy Share Image
We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different. — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
Just when I start to think I lack talent, I sneeze and fart at the same time. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Never, ever try to impress somebody. Be exactly the person you would be if you were alone or with somebody it was… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Besides, when you say you're a feminist it annoys the bigots and the old farts and the prissy ladies so much, it's… — Ursula K. Le Guin Copy Share Image
“I love when I blow my nose while I’m peeing. Not only am I multitasking, but the pee comes out faster so… — Karen Alpert Copy Share Image
You're not a real man until you've loved a woman who does a little dance before she pushes out a fart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“I'll meet you outside," I said. No way was I actually doing to shout 'I have to pee' at the top of… — Stella Lennon Copy Share Image
I play around with my Japanese Garden. Since Im half way to 70 today I need to start pruning trees and sharpening… — Jason Bateman Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you bend down to get something in a silent room, fart and everyone looks at you.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts. — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
“This Nicholas anon leet fle a fart As greet as it had been a thonder-dent, That with the strook he was almoost… — Geoffrey Chaucer Copy Share Image
“I'm past competing in pissing contests. My jet stream is now more of a trickle. The only contest I'd win is the… — Brian MacLearn Copy Share Image
For me, I need to be able to show up on set and fart around and goof around. If I can have… — Betsy Brandt Copy Share Image
There are more microbes per person than the entire population of the world. Imagine that. Per person. This means that if the… — Alan Bennett Copy Share Image
Electronic communities build nothing. You wind up with nothing. We are dancing animals. How beautiful it is to get up and go… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“That tight little accent grated on Clay’s frayed nerves. He thought that if it had been a fart, it would have been… — Stephen King Copy Share Image
Freedom, Truth, Honour — you could rattle off a hundred such words and behind every one of them would gather a thousand… — Hunter S. Thompson Copy Share Image
There is nothing fiercer than a failed artist. The energy remains, but, having no outlet, it implodes in a great black fart… — Erica Jong Copy Share Image
Let every fart count as a peal of thunder for liberty. Let every fart remind the nation of how much it has… — Benjamin Franklin Copy Share Image
I don't really know. I think the first test is when you're very little and you fart, and you laugh at it… — Joel McHale Copy Share Image
“Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement, it is too fleeting;… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Purple light passed over the paper, but nothing happened. "Next!" Amy said. She was sure the man in black was going to… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
