“I love when I blow my nose while I’m peeing. Not only am I multitasking, but the pee comes out faster so… — Karen Alpert Fart Copy Share Image
“You know how they won’t let parents with kiddos sit in the exit row? It has nothing to do with safety. They’re… — Karen Alpert Child Copy Share Image
“Sometimes I hear feminists call God a She, and I’m like, dude, I am all for equal rights and equal pay, but… — Karen Alpert Equal pay Copy Share Image
“I love when those annoyingly perfect moms brag that they ONLY give their kids all-natural shit. You know what’s all-natural? Poisonous berries… — Karen Alpert Copy Share Image
“Sometimes I give my kid the finger through the baby monitor for all the shit she put me through that day. It… — Karen Alpert Feel better Copy Share Image
“Mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama… — Karen Alpert First time Copy Share Image
