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American Dad

30 quotes in 32 categories

[Wikipedia] American Dad! is an American animated sitcom created by Seth MacFarlane, Mike Barker and Matt Weitzman for Fox and TBS. The series premiered on February 6, 2005, following Super Bowl XXXIX, with the rest of the first season airing from May 1 of the same year. The show centers around the Smiths, a dy

Quotes by American Dad

Man: You are all going to live... (Smith family cheers) Man: ... for 24 more hours. Which is just enough time for…

Enough time

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Man: Good news. Apparently, that batch of virus was inert, so that means... Stan: We're going to be okay. Man: Yes, although…

Good news

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God, please watch over the soul of this dead dog and carry him up to heaven... because he sure as hell can't…

Dead dog

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Stan: Francine, what the hell is going on? You were fired. (Donald Trump comes in) Stan: That's passive past tense, Trump! You…

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Hayley: It's just toast, Dad. Stan: This time it was toast, Hayley. This time.

Time

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Francine: This is a wonderful starter home. I've been saving it for a couple just like you. Woman: Pretty soon, we're gonna…

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Steve: This is it. I have absolute power. (Over intercom) Doris, could you please send in our high school mascot? (Man dressed…

Absolute power

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Stan: Francine, I want you to stop this nonsense. Francine: "Nonsense"? This job is my career. Stan: No, my job is a…

Career

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Stan: What makes you think you're gonna survive? Roger: My species is immune to all human ailments. Stan: So explain that cold…

Mind your own business

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Stan: Hilary, look out for the mines! (Explosion) What did I just say? You heard me. What did I just say? Steve:…

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Girl: Hey, I love your dog. Guy: Hey, want to come back to my apartment and pet my schnauzer? Girl: Okay. Guy:…

Dog

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Steve: Bobby, get over here, I want my Shazzam shirt dry cleaned and pressed by third period. Oh, and another thing, all…

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By the way, Haley, oh my God, these Chocodiles, these Chocodiles Haley, oh my God, these Chocodiles, oh my God! -Roger

Oh my god

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Stan: (With gun, searching the house) Osama, is that you? (Hears noise, fires gun) Roger: Geez, Stan, what gives? Holy Toledo, you…

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Stan: Uh, excuse me, are you Francine's boss? Man: Yes. Stan: (Into wrist communicator) Go! Go! Go! You're all under arrest. Man:…

Rap song

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Stan: (Picks up telephone) This is Stan Smith. Principal Lewis: Mr. Smith, I'm afraid there's a problem with your son. Stan: Oh,…

Oh god

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Hayley: Oh my God. Dad, why is Hilary Duff in our house? Stan: Hilary is here of her own free will because…

Oh my god

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Steve: I can't believe I'm gonna die a virgin. Francine: Aw, sweetie, there was a 70-80% chance of that happening, anyway.

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Hayley: (To Stan) You know, Steve's dog would still be alive if you right-wing lunatics would agree to gun control. Stan: You…

Gun control

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Stan: Here's your allowance, champ! Steve: Wow... a whole five bucks. Stan: Yeah, I'm gonna need change.

Change

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Stan: (After seeing Scab Bum) Who the hell is that? Steve: He doesn't have a name. Stan: What? Steve: He killed his…

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Greg: First time the threat level's been blue. Just like my handsome co-anchor's lovely eyes. Terry: Stop it. Greg: Come on now,…

First time

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Terry: Actually, Greg married once. Greg: I was confused. Is that why you're here, Stan? Are you confused?

Marriage

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Roger: Oh, don't everybody help at once. Francine: My goodness, Roger! When was the last time you weighed yourself? Roger: Oh, oh,…

Junk food

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Steve: I can't believe you muscled out your own son. You stink, dad. Stan: Oh, come on, what's more important, your hopes…

Dad

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