Quote by American Dad

Man: You are all going to live... (Smith family cheers) Man: ... for 24 more hours. Which is just enough time for you to…

— American Dad

Man: Good news. Apparently, that batch of virus was inert, so that means... Stan: We're going to be okay. Man: Yes, although apparently your…

— American Dad

God, please watch over the soul of this dead dog and carry him up to heaven... because he sure as hell can't walk... he's…

— American Dad

Stan: Francine, what the hell is going on? You were fired. (Donald Trump comes in) Stan: That's passive past tense, Trump! You don't own…

— American Dad

Hayley: It's just toast, Dad. Stan: This time it was toast, Hayley. This time.

— American Dad

Francine: This is a wonderful starter home. I've been saving it for a couple just like you. Woman: Pretty soon, we're gonna be more…

— American Dad

Steve: This is it. I have absolute power. (Over intercom) Doris, could you please send in our high school mascot? (Man dressed in a…

— American Dad

Stan: Francine, I want you to stop this nonsense. Francine: "Nonsense"? This job is my career. Stan: No, my job is a career. This…

— American Dad

Stan: What makes you think you're gonna survive? Roger: My species is immune to all human ailments. Stan: So explain that cold sore. Roger:…

— American Dad

Girl: Hey, I love your dog. Guy: Hey, want to come back to my apartment and pet my schnauzer? Girl: Okay. Guy: And then…

— American Dad

Steve: Bobby, get over here, I want my Shazzam shirt dry cleaned and pressed by third period. Oh, and another thing, all periods will…

— American Dad

By the way, Haley, oh my God, these Chocodiles, these Chocodiles Haley, oh my God, these Chocodiles, oh my God! -Roger

— American Dad