Nikhil Saluja

What you see in yourself is what you see in the world.

— Nikhil Saluja

Was drunk when I wrote that last tweet.

— Nikhil Saluja

Steps into shower. Then turns the water on.

— Nikhil Saluja

The fart is coming from…inside your pants

— Nikhil Saluja

Topaz is my birth stone. Tomb is my death stone.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, SECOND, the triumph of hope over experience

— Nikhil Saluja

Still waiting for a reply from twitter on adding a Stab button.

— Nikhil Saluja

I don't kiss and tell. I beat it and tweet it.

— Nikhil Saluja

I entered the twitter room, locked myself in and swallowed the key.

— Nikhil Saluja

Whenever I masturbate I always pretend my right hand has a British accent.

— Nikhil Saluja

Stress balls really work when you shove them down someone's throat.

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, Something they say is blind -- it's marriage which is the real eye opener;

— Nikhil Saluja

Too MANY people ask for the truth, but too FEW can actually handle it.

— Nikhil Saluja

A girl loves when you go all-in in a poker game. The woman loves when you go all-in in the bedroom.

— Nikhil Saluja

Youre not afraid of clowns, youre afraid of opening your heart to love

— Nikhil Saluja

You are happy... when you see a flower and are thankful for the blessing.

— Nikhil Saluja

Teach your children about Tax . Eat 30% of their Icecream.

— Nikhil Saluja

Talk to the hand is what I tell my erection every night.

— Nikhil Saluja

A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

— Nikhil Saluja

Unemployed people look forward to 7 day weekends

— Nikhil Saluja

Whore House Slogan More Fuck for your Buck!

— Nikhil Saluja

What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?

— Nikhil Saluja

If any of my tweets offend you, let me know so I can block you.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sometimes I can't even read my own mind

— Nikhil Saluja

A girl works out. The woman works you out. In bed.

— Nikhil Saluja

A lie is just the truth in a fun costume.

— Nikhil Saluja

A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.

— Nikhil Saluja

Weights & Measures: 2 Monograms = 1 Diagram

— Nikhil Saluja

Real ninjas don't hide from their problems.

— Nikhil Saluja

I wish anyone could love me as much as I hate everyone.

— Nikhil Saluja

I like my beer as I like my beer. Beer.

— Nikhil Saluja

Studying fungus is a way to mold young minds

— Nikhil Saluja

I just met a girl named Karma. She was actually really sweet.

— Nikhil Saluja

How long do I have to wait to go swimming after I eat vagina?

— Nikhil Saluja

Try to read my mind and you'll find all the pages are sticky.

— Nikhil Saluja

Stalking your EX is injurious to heart.

— Nikhil Saluja

I just invented shirtless sleeves and changed the game.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sometimes WRONG persons teach RIGHT LESSONS

— Nikhil Saluja

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

— Nikhil Saluja

What gets easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Women!

— Nikhil Saluja