We knew the front door was always left open, but we broke in just to keep in practice. Doxy turned all the… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
To me there's no real difference between a fortune teller or a fortune cookie and any of the organized religions. They're all… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I'm generally not a social dramatist or comedy writer. My interests have always been more in psychological stories or personal relations and… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I learned a few things on my own since, and modified some of the things he taught me, but everything, unequivocally, that… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“Yo no quiero alcanzar la inmortalidad por mi obra. Quiero conseguirla por no morir. No quiero vivir en la memoria de mis… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I feel humor is important for those two reasons: that it is a little bit of refreshment like music, and that women… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I was a nervous child, I was a bedwetter. I used to sleep with an electric blanket and I was constantly electrocuting… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I like broad comedy. If I had an idea tomorrow for a film that was all slapstick and broad comedy, and it… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
As a boy, I was ashamed to wear glasses. I memorized the eye chart, and then on the test they asked essay… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
My gift was in comedy. I found out I could make jokes. I could tell jokes. I could write them. So over… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
If God is everywhere, I had concluded, then He is in food. Therefore, the more I ate the godlier I would become.… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“Drama is like meat and three veg. Whereas comedy is like the merangue at the end.” — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Some women feel power is important, some women feel that looks are important, tenderness, intelligence...but sense of humor seems to permeate all… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“Am I my brother's keeper? Yes. Interestingly, in my case, I share that honor with the Prospect Park Zoo.” — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I'm not a big believer in the sense of Jews having a monopoly on comedy. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Some people are funny, and some people are not funny. Many people who are not funny can make a living at it.… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I'd always wanted to be a dramatic. Comedy comes more naturally to me. I can do it with more facility. So I… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Then Job fell to his knees and cried to the Lord, "Thine is the kingdom and the power and glory. Thou hast… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“These modern analysts! They charge so much. In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you. For ten marks, he… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“True, science has conquered many diseases, broken the genetic code, and even placed human beings on the moon, and yet when a man of… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
In every generation there are a few people who are authentically funny. The cosmetics change. You may not be able to articulate it, and… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I think Frank Capra was a much craftier filmmaker, a wonderful filmmaker. He had enormous technique, and he knew how to manipulate the public… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause! — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I enjoy the making of the film and it's something for me to do. If nobody ever comes to my films, if people don't… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
A stockbroker is someone who invests other people's money until it is all gone. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Man cannot live by bread alone. Every once in awhile he needs a salad. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
