Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“I suppose I could get a job to have something to do, but working when I don't have to work would be… — Stephen Reid Andrews Copy Share Image
“I love it," I say. "So I learned it." It's an explanation that leaves a lot out. But I learned a long… — Jael McHenry (The Kitchen Daughter Copy Share Image
“She's a parasite I can't seem to get rid of. Like a bad case of financial diarrhea.” — Dee Burks Copy Share Image
“FEBRIZIUM();” said Buggeroff, and the foul smell immediately disappeared as if by, well − Magic.” — Sorin Suciu Copy Share Image
I feel like humor and tragedy are all on the same coin, and it's all a part of the same process as… — Weyes Blood Copy Share Image
For me, comedy literally is way more terrifying than doing drama, so it's always about stretching what I think I can do… — Tatiana Maslany Copy Share Image
Usually, comedy shows only influence other comedy shows. 'M*A*S*H' is one of the few comedies that influenced dramatic shows as well. — Alan Alda Copy Share Image
“Heifer.” “Rich man’s whore!” “At least mine can cook the food he eats. And replaces it, too.” “Now see, Dee-Ann Smith. That… — Shelly Laurenston Copy Share Image
“She’d run over Dankyo in an instant to get to Theo. Be a darn big bump in the road, but she’d do… — Cari Silverwood Copy Share Image
Doctor says to a man, "You're pregnant!" The man says, "How does a man get pregnant?" The doctor says, "The usual way… — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
“In London, Alexander knows, they like neither his sister nor himself. Society considers the Tsar silly and vain, a ballroom dancer with… — Emma Richler Copy Share Image
“The most dangerous thing of all, and something he wanted to warn me about above all else, the one thing that had… — Mikael Niemi Copy Share Image
“Isn't that thing a little unsanitary for the workplace?" I pointed to his lip ring. "I assure you that my lip ring… — Magan Vernon Copy Share Image
I watched a dog chase its tail for 10 minutes and I thought to myself, Wow dogs are easily entertained Then I… — Lars Propst Copy Share Image
George Carlin is brilliant with words, and Johnny Winters is very creative. It's taking something common and drawing out the humor, being… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
“By all the rules of modern fiction there should have been gunsmoke mingling its acrid blue with the brown haze of corral… — B.M. Bower Copy Share Image
“A bridge. A big bridge with lots of traffic. You can’t be serious. I’ve almost killed us at least twice going up… — Elle Klass Copy Share Image
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line. — Oscar Levant Copy Share Image
I wanted to do comedy, but I didn't grow up wanting to be a standup. — Lolly Adefope Copy Share Image
Everyone says comedy is really hard, but with 'The Office' the naturalism was everything so it didn't feel like doing comedy; it… — Ralph Ineson Copy Share Image
My inspiration to do comedy came from many places. Saturday mornings, I would watch Bob Hope and Jerry Lewis movies. I later… — Erik Griffin Copy Share Image
Mel: What was your name again? Rain: Rain. Mel: Oh that's nice. Kind of like bad weather. — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
“We journalists love writing about eccentrics. We hate writing about impenetrable, boring people. It makes us look bad: the duller the interviewee,… — Jon Ronson Copy Share Image
“If you learn to laugh at yourself, you'll be entertained for a lifetime.” — Lee McLaughlin Copy Share Image
“Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.” — Martin Mull Copy Share Image
“Kishan stretched out his hand and touched and earring lightly. His rakish pirate about-to-make-off-with-your-woman-and-what-do-you-think-you're-gonna-do-about-it look melted away to a soft smile that… — Colleen Houck Copy Share Image
“You are such a kind and caring man, and so sizzling hot and studly. Please, please don’t go nutty on me.” — Nicki Elson Copy Share Image
“My ears are too beeg for my head. My head ees too beeg for my body. I am not a Siamese cat… — Judy Schachner Copy Share Image
I don't feel those limits when I'm on stage. For some reason, audiences let me get away with things. Remember, it's all… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
People are funny. They often don't mean to be, and that's what makes it even more endearing. — Jennifer Lee Copy Share Image
My mother was very wary at first. And now she's come around 180 degrees. She's, like, one of my biggest fans now.… — Maz Jobrani Copy Share Image
