“The obedient Pit bull becomes the escaped tiger and it's got a knife” — Yahtzee Croshaw Copy Share Image
“You absolutely don't know what's going to happen next - that's surrender.” — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
“Bear turns out to be an acronym for ‘Beating Evil’s Ass Regularly’.” — Bobbi Romans Copy Share Image
“I can think of only one good solution to this dilemma," Diego said, having spent the entire night developing a plan. You… — Sabrina Jeffries Copy Share Image
With all comedy, you try to ground it in credibility and reality. — Matthew Gray Gubler Copy Share Image
“If you haven't cried at least once while writing a chapter of your inspirational book, then you have to ask yourself if… — Shannon L. Alder Copy Share Image
A lot of romantic comedies are just light romantic dramas, or the comedy comes off second-best. — Graeme Simsion Copy Share Image
“Did someone just call me the wine dude ?” he asked in a lazy drawl. “It’s Bacchus, please. Or Mr. Bacchus. Or… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
“Please do not masturbate while I do your feet. I cannot take another moaning horny white woman this week.” — Avery Aster Copy Share Image
“Never in his life had he hit a girl, nor would he. But, right now, he wanted to kick that NSA cutie… — Shane Scollins Copy Share Image
Anyway, I'm so thankful, and so gracious - I'm gracious that my brother Jeb is concerned about the hemisphere as well. — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
“Now, my intention was to drink just enough to dull the senses, but intentions should never be mixed with alcohol.” — Kirt J. Boyd Copy Share Image
“ Résumé Razors pain you, Rivers are damp, Acids stain you, And drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful, Nooses give, Gas smells… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
Angie, I've seen my mom wrestle two cops to the ground with a taser dart in her neck, and you cry when… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That's what I'm attracted to: how people face struggle - with humor - and how they handle tough situations in their lives… — Mike O'Malley Copy Share Image
“Kudra was amused by Alobar's tentative polka until her eyes fell upon the tumescent protrusion dancing with him. Disgusting she thought. An… — Tom Robbins Copy Share Image
“Embarrassing facts, those would really help our children remember their classroom lessons better.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“What about human beings? said the animals. Do you think we need human beings? Why not? said the Twins. And as quick… — Thomas King Copy Share Image
Speak in French when you can’t think of the English for a thing-- turn your toes out when you walk--- And remember… — Lewis Carroll Copy Share Image
I think proteins are really good for your brain. And your brain is where comedy comes from. — Carrie Brownstein Copy Share Image
“Saying that you do not remember something or someone is a less embarrassing or hurtful way of saying that you do not… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
The thing I liked most about 'Lois & Clark,' we were a fun show. Some of the later 'Superman' stuff is so… — Dean Cain Copy Share Image
“...C'mon, honey, don't be mad at me. I don't mean to lie, I just remember big." Buck Preston to CeeCee's neighbor, Miz… — Beth Hoffman Copy Share Image
“I often don't know where my Luggage is, that's what being a tourist is all about.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
I liked your hair. I liked your friends. I liked your smile. I liked your eyes. I liked your laugh. I liked… — Guardian/Hommie G Copy Share Image
I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years. — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
Australia objects to the mini-skirt not on moral but on economic grounds. Australians are no prudes and the lovely, healthy, sporty Australian… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
“Though we say, Love is something that knows no boundary and needs no agreement but Money can do everything......” — Ranu Das Copy Share Image
Chick Lit uses humor to reflect life back to us. It's a very comforting genre, and it's the first time our generation… — Marian Keyes Copy Share Image
“That guy just loaded our box in the trunk. He's getting in. Follow him!" she shouted "I can't--too many cars in my… — Marvin Wiebener Copy Share Image
