“How to Be a Man Step One: Eat a steak, preferably raw. If you can find a juicy steer and just maw… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
If your life is all about screwing things and getting hammered, then congratulations, you're a tool. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“They laughed together, because laughter in number is safer than laughter alone.” — Aelius Blythe Copy Share Image
“What are you doing?” Egnatious asked, eyebrows furrowed as he watched Gabriella do a flip. Firen mimicked Gabriella and turned to Egnatious.… — Laura Kreitzer Copy Share Image
“How do you live with yourself, Lord Arrogant?” “Very easily, Lady Difficult. I find myself quite charming.” — G.A. Aiken Copy Share Image
“I wish the trees would go into leaf that I might find out what they are. In their present undress I cannot… — Laura Lafargue Copy Share Image
“I'm the bathroom master I'm a real bowl blaster Don't mess with me 'Cause I can mess it up faster With just… — R.U. Slime Copy Share Image
For almost 40 years, he was the brightest star in the comedy galaxy… The beautiful light will continue to shine on us… — Billy Crystal Copy Share Image
The real heart of comedy is uncovering a truth about yourself or about the world that you didn't see. — Ari Graynor Copy Share Image
Redefining the role of the United States from enablers to keep the peace to enablers to keep the peace from peacekeepers is… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
“To say the loaner was not pretty was an understatement. It was a 1907's olive-green Buick Century with a white top. Lindsay… — Jenn McKinlay Copy Share Image
You know, the comedic and horror thing was the key to 'Zombieland,' which is a comedy first. — Ruben Fleischer Copy Share Image
“Although my mother didn't know anything about science, she had a great influence on me as well. In particular, she had a… — Richard Feynman Copy Share Image
Even people that I agree with can do something that would be a target for a bit of humor. — Jonathan Shapiro Copy Share Image
I love mustaches with all my heart. There's just something about sketch comedy and mustaches. — Will Forte Copy Share Image
I didn't mean to go into comedy, that was accidental - acting was my original ambition and I would really love to… — Rebecca Front Copy Share Image
“The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
You see my next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a catholic converter. — Tim Vine Copy Share Image
“Fred coughed, which caused Sam and Ellie to look over at her. “Hey, Ellie. Watch this.” Mentally apologizing to her oldest friend,… — MaryJanice Davidson Copy Share Image
“He looked at me thoughtfully, and smiled slowly, his green eyes warm. He smelled of the outdoors, he was so tall and… — Abbi Waxman Copy Share Image
“Britt's frequent romances always took off like rockets propelled by promise and power and star-crossed destiny. Then, a few months in, they… — Becky Wade Copy Share Image
“Good strategy was the only reason I was still alive. I ambushed, set traps, and ran like hell the moment things stopped… — Jester Bobbity Copy Share Image
“The introduction was meant to be all important and elegant and meaningful and “This summer marks the voyage of discovery of Livia… — Kate le Vann Copy Share Image
“Trained in combat?" repeated Harry incredulously. "What does he think we're doing here, forming some sort of wizard army?" "That's exactly what… — J.K. Rowling Copy Share Image
I used to be scared of pretty girls, until one confessed they're just as scared of me. — Emo Philips Copy Share Image
“There was a great joke that was forever doing the rounds in the jail and it was probably funny not because it… — H.M. Forester Copy Share Image
Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
“In a single breast I never have seen More wealth of wisdom old; But with treacherous wiles must I now betray thee:… — Henry Adams Bellows (trans Copy Share Image
