I'm trying to be the Jay-Z of comedy one day. I don't know if there's any comedy moguls out there, but I… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I'm afraid one thing - I don't like heights. Heights bug me out. I'm not cool with heights. I refuse to do… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
When I first started doing comedy years ago, I used to be the biggest Michael Richards fan. I used to love this… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I am the comedy version of ambidextrous. I'm working with my left and right hand. I'm the two-sided coin. I'm all of… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I think comedy evolves constantly. I reinvent myself all the time. I always find a way to entertain myself because I truly… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I loved Peter Sellers. I thought he was the perfect mix of physical comedy with out-of-the-box humor. I loved his tone; I… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I talked about everything, man. I've always written material that everyone can laugh at. I talked about growing up. I did a… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
As far as standup, everybody has a vehicle they are driving. If what you do works, it's like playing golf. If you… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
You know what I like? I like classic stuff. I like 'The Andy Griffith Show' - the variety of characters was so amazing to… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
You have to fail, man, but you cannot allow failure to stop you from doing what you must do. Failing is just as good… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
If a director brings a guy to their movie who does improv, they've got to let him do what he does - otherwise it's… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
Improv relies just as much on listening as it does you delivering dialogue. That's the hard for some people. Some people just concentrate on… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
My life is gardening, cleaning around the house and power washing. I power wash everything: my wife, the mailman with the f-cking mail, power… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I believe, even when I'm doing my standup or my acting or whatever I'm doing, I believe in painting pictures. — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I should be European, man. I'm long and lean. I'd look good in a trench coat. — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
Man, you can come see me six or seven times in a row and you'll never see the same show twice, because I don't… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I've done everything. Selling door-to-door fire extinguishers... In bars, I used to repair those machines that have 10 different buttons on them to spray… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I'm nice with damn kids, man. Kids love me. I can bounce back and forth. I can discipline kids and I can get into… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
You want your lady to be a contortionist. What man wouldn't want a lady who's a contortionist? — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
