I think what I do in my acting world and what I do in my standup world is bring up a brand… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
Believe it or not, I write on stage. I can't write anywhere else; I have to be in a moment. I also… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I'm trying to be the Jay-Z of comedy one day. I don't know if there's any comedy moguls out there, but I… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
You buy a new iPhone, a few months later, another new iPhone comes out, and you get online to buy another one.… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
Remember Tupperware? That was the toughest stuff ever. Why can't they make a phone out of Tupperware? — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I'm afraid one thing - I don't like heights. Heights bug me out. I'm not cool with heights. I refuse to do… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
When you speak directly at things and don't say you're going to try to do something or that you hope to do… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
You know what I like? I like classic stuff. I like 'The Andy Griffith Show' - the variety of characters was so amazing to… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
You have to fail, man, but you cannot allow failure to stop you from doing what you must do. Failing is just as good… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
If a director brings a guy to their movie who does improv, they've got to let him do what he does - otherwise it's… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
Improv relies just as much on listening as it does you delivering dialogue. That's the hard for some people. Some people just concentrate on… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
My life is gardening, cleaning around the house and power washing. I power wash everything: my wife, the mailman with the f-cking mail, power… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I believe, even when I'm doing my standup or my acting or whatever I'm doing, I believe in painting pictures. — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I should be European, man. I'm long and lean. I'd look good in a trench coat. — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
Man, you can come see me six or seven times in a row and you'll never see the same show twice, because I don't… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I've done everything. Selling door-to-door fire extinguishers... In bars, I used to repair those machines that have 10 different buttons on them to spray… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I'm nice with damn kids, man. Kids love me. I can bounce back and forth. I can discipline kids and I can get into… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
You want your lady to be a contortionist. What man wouldn't want a lady who's a contortionist? — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
