Inside every Sancho Panza there's a Don Quixote struggling to get out. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
When the government runs out of lenders, it can do something that households are forbidden to do: print money. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The poor are an especially important resource for innovation when they have the bravery and pluck to get out of the poor… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If it were not for government regulation of big corporations, executives at companies like Enron, WorldCom, Tyco, they could have cheated investors… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The perpetuation of slavery, the exile and extermination of American Indians, and the passage of Jim Crow laws weren't carried out at… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Something that confirms all fears and many conspiracy theories about government is finding out what our elected representatives would put into law… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Modern elites live in bubbles of liberal affluence like Ann Arbor, Brookline, the Upper West Side, Palo Alto, or Chevy Chase. These… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Cars let us out of the barn and, while they were at it, destroyed the American nuclear family. As anyone who has… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Funding for the original manned Voyager Mars Program was scratched in 1968, before humans had gotten out of Low Earth Orbit. Mid-'60s… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Israel is slightly smaller than New Jersey. Moses in effect led the tribes of Israel out of the District of Columbia, parted… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
As a longtime former resident of 15 years in Washington, I wish that everybody would stay off the Mall with their political… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'm on Medicare now. If I go and have a big operation, it costs me nothing. It should cost me a little.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
We've come into the world of '1984,' but it turns out to be '1984'-Lite. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I knew Hunter Thompson since the '70s, and I loved him, but he would wear me out as I got older. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Arguing, in the sense of attempting to convince others, has gone out of fashion with conservatives. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The most brilliant satire of all time was 'A Modest Proposal' by Jonathan Swift. You'll notice how everything got straightened out in… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In Toledo, people grow out. Out to the suburbs. Out to the parts of America where the economy is more vigorous. And… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
