We've come into the world of '1984,' but it turns out to be '1984'-Lite. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Taxi drivers all over the world, by the way, are under Newspaper Guild contract to give easy quotes to foreign correspondents. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
What would be a road hazard anywhere else, in the Third World is probably the road. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Democrats hate America being a world power because world power gives power to the nation instead of to Democrats. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Will Generation X and the Millennials do a better job running the world than the boomers have? Let's hope so. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The idea of a world where all people are alike - in wealth or in anything else - is a fantasy for… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
A world government run by the UN will be like getting an old, purblind, half-deaf substitute teacher. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Marijuana is self-punishing. It makes you acutely sensitive, and in this world, what worse punishment could there be? — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Apparently Bolivia is the key source of lithium in the world. So we're gonna trade the Saudis for the Bolivians. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The great apologist has to have lived large and wild. If he's going to kiss the world's boo-boos and make up, he'd… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There are plenty of problems in the world, and doubtless climate change - or whatever the currently voguish phrase for it all… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There's a certain kind of behavior in the Arab world that, to me, resembles the way young men behave when there is… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There is a fine line in the Third World between half a dozen customs officials waiting for you to offer them a… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
One nice thing about the Third World, you don't have to fasten your seat belt. (Or stop smoking. Or cut down on… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Masochists are people that have pleasure confused with pain. In a world that has television confused with entertainment, doritoes confused with food,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There's a love of rhetorical skill in the Muslim world. Osama bin Laden doesn't just go on tape cassettes and say, 'America… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
…the poor of the world cannot be made rich by redistribution of wealth. Poverty can't be eliminated by punishing people who've escaped… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Now for good or ill, California is the place where trends tend to be set in Western civilization - if civilization indeed… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Money is preferable to politics. It is the difference between being free to be anybody you want and to vote for anybody… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Wealth is, for most people, the only honest and likely path to liberty. With money comes power over the world. Men are… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Remember, FDA employees are serious about fear. We pay these people to panic about an iota of rodent hair in our chili,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If the dollar weakens, then presumably all the things that we make in the United States - Buicks, for instance - can… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I spent almost 25 years as a foreign correspondent, and the world's primary problem is poverty. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The motorcycle is a device created by the team of God and Darwin to rid the world of useless young males. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Jack Abramoff is the world's best lobbyist - for the Federal Penitentiary System. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Women are successful in the business world because the business world was created by men. Men are babies. And women areGood With… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
A girl who is really pretty - whether she wraps herself in an abayah, a nun's habit, or the front hall rug… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Violence is interesting. This is a great obstacle to world peace and also to more thoughtful television programming. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Visiting Future World is like opening a Chinese fortune cookie to read, "Soon you'll be finished with dinner." — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
America is the world's policeman, all right -- a big, dumb, mick flatfoot in the middle of the one thing cops dread… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
We Americans, who invented traffic, are always being startled by the forms into which it has evolved around the world. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Globalization is simply opening the free marketplace to encompass the entire world. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Call a man 'ignorant,' and you have license to show the world your vast fund of knowledge and wise him up. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If you get outside the world of show business and its satellites, there's a whole world of car nuts in the Los… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
