Inspirational Quotes by P. J. O'Rourke

28 Inspirational quotes by P. J. O'Rourke

All Inspirational quotes P. J. O'Rourke’s page

O'Rourke blends humor with hard‑won insight, making motivation feel both honest and entertaining. These 28 lines strike a balance between sarcasm and sincerity, perfect for a chuckle‑filled confidence boost.

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You can't get something for nothing. Everybody remembers this except politicians.

P. J. O'Rourke

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Of course, the humans in Haiti have hope. They hope to leave.

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Liberalism is just Communism sold by the drink.

P. J. O'Rourke

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Man developed in Africa. He has not continued to do so there.

P. J. O'Rourke

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Not being a liberal, I have very little grasp of things that I know nothing about.

P. J. O'Rourke

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Anything that makes your mother cry is fun

P. J. O'Rourke

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Neither conservatives nor humorists believe man is good. But left-wingers do.

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Zen martini: A martini with no vermouth at all. And no gin, either.

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Just as some things are too strange for fiction, others are too true for journalism.

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No government proposal more complicated than "This note is legal tender for all debts, public and private" ever works.

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Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.

P. J. O'Rourke

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One of the reporters must have flunked journalism school because he asked a question that went straight to the point.

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Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

P. J. O'Rourke

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Nothing bad is going to happen to us. If we get fired, it's not failure; its a midlife vocational reassessment.

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A dugout is much superior to a conventional manufactured canoe because you can get soaking wet without bothering to capsize it.

P. J. O'Rourke

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Never do anything to a clitoris with your teeth that you wouldn't do to an expensive waterproof wristwatch.

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One of the annoying things about believing in free will and individual responsibility is the difficulty of finding somebody to blame your…

P. J. O'Rourke

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A woman should dress to attract attention. To attract the most attention, a woman should be either nude, or wearing something as…

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Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying. (Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for…

P. J. O'Rourke

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Mankind has invested more than four million years of evolution in the attempt to avoid physical exertion. Now a group of backward-thinking…

P. J. O'Rourke

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The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look.

P. J. O'Rourke

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When you think of the good old days, think one word: dentistry.

P. J. O'Rourke

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There are a lot of mysterious things about boats, such as why anyone would get on one voluntarily.

P. J. O'Rourke

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Abstract anger is great for rhetorical carrying on. You can go on endlessly about the post office, but it doesn't mean you're…

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Those who do not know history are probably also not doing well in English or math. P.J. O'Rourke

P. J. O'Rourke

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Cats possess so many of the same qualities as some poeple that it is often hard to tell the people and the…

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The Russians could have some (warheads) aimed at Japan, so if we act up they can destroy our economy.

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Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did.

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I'm fascinated by political enthusiasm.

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In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that…

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The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and…

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At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying…

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So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else…

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My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny.

P. J. O'Rourke

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It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,…

P. J. O'Rourke

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Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones.

P. J. O'Rourke

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Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such…

P. J. O'Rourke

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Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and…

P. J. O'Rourke

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I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've…

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I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes.

P. J. O'Rourke

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Something that comes to us, some gym shoe that comes to us as a result of child labor from a brutal dictatorship, where people…

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Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border.

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Now, do I think the baby boomers tend to be self-absorbed? I do.

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