If I were a congressman who had voted for the American Jobs Creation Act of 2004, I'd claim it was forced on… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Everybody in America who didn't come over the Bering Strait ice bridge stole his land from somebody else. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
We all know the types who listen to Pete Seeger songs; even Pete admits they aren't interesting. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
We Americans, who invented traffic, are always being startled by the forms into which it has evolved around the world. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There is no virtue in compulsory government charity, and there is no virtue in advocating it. A politician who portrays himself as… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Daniel Patrick Moynihan is the archetypal extremely smart person who went into politics anyway instead of doing something worthwhile for his country. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Some day you will be wheeled in for a heart bypass operation, and a surgeon will be the person who is now… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In Henry Adams, I discovered not only the prototype of the modern thinker but also someone who is more interesting: a viper-toothed,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Some taxpayers may object to a print journalism bailout on the grounds that it mostly benefits the liberal elite. And we can't… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
For decades in America, there has been an effort to ensure that the rights of those who are not sane are the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There are a number of Americans who shouldn't vote. The number is 57 percent, to judge by the combined total of Clinton… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Communist bloc of old was a study in the failure of failure. Losers in the Soviet economy were the people at… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Americans are good at pursuing happiness. And the Americans who pursue happiness most diligently show that we're also good at running it… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Tea Party has definitely increased political involvement, not only among Tea Party members but among people who oppose the Tea Party… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
When you pay a hospital bill, you're really paying two hospital bills - one bill for you because you have a job… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
New Hampshire polling data are unreliable because, when you call the Granite State's registered Republicans and independents in the middle of dinner… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like Michael Moore, but I think of him more as a rabble-rouser. On his TV show, when he went to the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Preachers at black churches are the last people left in the English-speaking world who know the schemes and tropes of classical rhetoric:… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I've never been able to get it straight about what these people who are worried about the trade deficit are worried about. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
We will win an election when all the seats in the House and Senate and the chair behind the desk in the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Why do elites hate the poor? It's xenophobia. They don't know any poor people - except their off-the-books Brazilian nanny and illegal… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Cars let us out of the barn and, while they were at it, destroyed the American nuclear family. As anyone who has… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Soldiers are not policemen, and it's very unfair, even for those soldiers who have some police training, to burden them with police… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Upbeat is for people who want to feel good about their cause: the reformers, the progressives, the revolutionaries, the utopians, the collectivists,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I think every high school student who was alert during the early '60s got very embittered by the slow progress and the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
