This country is so urbanized we think low-fat milk comes from cows on Nutri/System weight-loss plans. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Zero-sum thinking is an obsession of mine, but mostly in economics. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There's such a self-conscious balance that goes into television. Also, these are not people that think things through. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Who does Bill Clinton think got off the boat and stepped on Plymouth Rock? Peace Corps volunteers? — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Your money does not cause my poverty. Refusal to believe this is at the bottom of most bad economic thinking. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Anyone who thinks he has a better idea of what's good for people than people do is a swine. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Good manners consist of doing precisely what everyone thinks should be done, especially when no one knows quite what that is. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Then there was LSD, which was supposed to make you think you could fly. I remember it made you think you couldn't… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
As a result of that, and as a result of friendship, I don't think we've ever been competitive. I mean, there's probably… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I've always figured that if God wanted us to go to church a lot He'd have given us bigger behinds to sit… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I can think of a number of areas in New York where three acres of nuclear waste would make the neighborhood safer… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I think in the [Bill] Clinton era, if people hadn't been spending vast amounts of time attacking Clinton, they would have found… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
People think the free market is a philosophy, they think that it is a creed. It is none of those things. Free… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Health care is too expensive, so the Clinton administration is putting a high-powered coporate lawyer - Hillary - in charge of making… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
When [George W.] Bush was elected, I think they thought I would have some sort of special "in" with that administration, to… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
America is not a wily, sneaky nation. We don't think that way. We don't think much at all, thank God. Start thinking… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Bob Wallace was my editor at Rolling Stone when I first started writing there, and he's a wonderful editor. I was in… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
[Kurt] Vonnegut once said, if you ever want to know who somebody is... Like you look at Richard Nixon, or Adolf Hitler,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
[Wave of bestselling conservative commentators] it's kind of like reading The Power Of Positive Thinking, or any other advice or how-to book.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
[T]he Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It is important to remember when reading Adam Smith or even when just thinking about Smith that the era that he lived… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Think of what big governments have gotten up to in this century : not one, but two world wars, the gulag, the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Summing it Up..."Where's a good place for dinner?" I asked. "There's the Brasserie Lipp on the Avenue St. Germaine," she said, "or… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If libertarianism were easy to explain, and it weren't easy to exaggerate the effects of libertarianism, I think it would have been… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Then basically what was happening was that it was the middle '80s, and Rolling Stone realized that a lot of their readers… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Think about last time you were broke ... now how well did it go with spending your way out of it? Did… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'm a member of the working press; you'd think I'd know better than to listen to journalists. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I don't think I'll ever be a real boat reporter. My Rolex isn't big enough. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
People say, 'Oh, politics is so polarized today,' and I'm thinking... '1861, that was polarized.' — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The commies are the only people on earth who think Star Wars will work. If they're that gullible, maybe we should have… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I remember thinking cocaine was subtle until I noticed I'd been awake for three weeks and didn't know any of the naked… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I think Michael O'Donoghue felt he'd said what he wanted to say. In fact, nobody thought we could spin it out long… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Many reporters, when they go to work in the nation's capital, begin thinking of themselves as participants in the political process instead… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In general, life is better than it has ever been, and if you think that, in the past, there was some golden… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Well the planet I've got a chance to visit is Earth, and Earth's principal features are chaos and war. I think I'd… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It is very hard now to shock people into thinking about government regulation and the extent of government involvement in life. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
![“As a result of that, and as a result of friendship, I don't think we've ever been competitive. I mean, there's probably a very good reason Hunter [S. Thompson] isn't jealous of me.” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/715/p-j-o-rourke-184_friendship_as-a-result-of-that-and-as-a-result-of-f_683610.jpg)
![“I think in the [Bill] Clinton era, if people hadn't been spending vast amounts of time attacking Clinton, they would have found that they had essentially the same problems as they do now.” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/346/p-j-o-rourke-184_amount_i-think-in-the-bill-clinton-era-if-peopl_1906545.jpg)
![“When [George W.] Bush was elected, I think they thought I would have some sort of special "in" with that administration, to provide some sort of inside poop. Which is not something I'd be interested in doing, and anyway, I didn't. I actually knew more people in his dad's administration. So it was…” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/624/p-j-o-rourke-184_administration_when-george-w-bush-was-elected-i-think-t_1265391.jpg)
![“[Kurt] Vonnegut once said, if you ever want to know who somebody is... Like you look at Richard Nixon, or Adolf Hitler, or Ralph Nader, or anybody who seems like a difficult person to understand, and is therefore not part of the pattern of human behavior. Think about who they were in high school…” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/900/p-j-o-rourke-184_behavior_kurt-vonnegut-once-said-if-you-ever-want_97504.jpg)
![“[Wave of bestselling conservative commentators] it's kind of like reading The Power Of Positive Thinking, or any other advice or how-to book. All they do is reassure people of their basic opinions, and then they can continue to act like they've always acted. I'd say it's time to move on to…” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/1c2/p-j-o-rourke-184_advice_wave-of-bestselling-conservative-comment_55176.jpg)
![“[T]he Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock? Peace Corps volunteers? Or maybe the people in Texas were…” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/6d2/p-j-o-rourke-184_abuse_t-he-clinton-administration-launched-an_664366.jpg)
![“Then basically what was happening was that it was the middle '80s, and Rolling Stone realized that a lot of their readers had voted for [Ronald] Reagan, and they were going, "Gosh! We need a Republican! Does anybody know a Republican? Wait a minute! I think P.J.'s a Republican!"” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/fe1/p-j-o-rourke-184_80s_then-basically-what-was-happening-was-th_1600927.jpg)
