Detroit's industrial ruins are picturesque, like crumbling Rome in an 18th-century etching. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Distracting a politician from governing is like distracting a bear from eating your baby. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Detroit is beautiful - though you probably have to be a child of the industrial Midwest, like me, to see it. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Excessive speed and quantity are, like chattiness and digression, besetting sins of cyber-assisted authorship. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
To blame the existence of al Qaeda on poverty like Egypt's is a slur on the poor. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Governments have monopolies on certain things, like eminent domain and deadly force. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Tom DeLay may or may not have broken campaign finance laws, but he did his best to look like he was breaking… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The job of the president of the United States is to talk to the public, is to explain to them. Now, some… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I've only been to New Zealand once, about 1989. It was incredibly beautiful, kind of like the ideal of where I live… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like Michael Moore, but I think of him more as a rabble-rouser. On his TV show, when he went to the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I rarely meet a politician that I don't like personally. They are generally well endowed with charm. Therein lies the danger. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I've got a 1990 Porsche 911. It's just a Carrera, a very simple, straightforward little thing that goes like stink. I love it. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Rich people don't like to be in the military. The shoes are ugly and the uniforms itch. Rich people don't go in… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I had a confused early hippie phase, which was like a cafeteria tray of sloppy, semi-Marxist thoughts, absorbed second-hand. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Computers seem a little too adaptively flexible, like the strange natives, odd societies, and head cases we study in the social sciences.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If you ask the government to solve all of your problems, it's a bit like asking your wife to cook and clean,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Even the dumber parts of our government are not run by idiots. These are ordinary people like us, doing a job. By… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Modern elites live in bubbles of liberal affluence like Ann Arbor, Brookline, the Upper West Side, Palo Alto, or Chevy Chase. These… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Like most sensible people, you probably lost interest in modern art about the time that Julian Schnabel was painting broken pieces of… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The idea of a stag hunt evokes chivalry - knights in jerkins and hose, ladies on sidesaddles with wimples and billowing dresses,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Like it or not, I've come to appreciate soccer. Any kid can play, which fits with the inclusive agenda of progressive schools.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Moviemakers are rewarded with tax write-offs if, when seeking a location that looks like America, they seek it in America. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to have interesting things to write about. And when one says something is 'interesting,' one almost always means 'bad.' — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like fiction and the kind of history that gives the grace and flavor of fiction to the past. No bloviation on… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Banning paper and plastic and making shoppers carry their groceries home in their mouths like dogs is just the thing to make… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Nancy Pelosi says the angry opposition to health care reform is like the angry opposition to gay rights that led to Harvey… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
When I board an airplane these days, all the middle-aged men are dressed like me - when I was an 8-year-old. They're… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If it were not for government regulation of big corporations, executives at companies like Enron, WorldCom, Tyco, they could have cheated investors… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
No doubt the ridiculous politicians are right to like politics. They have found careers in which success can be achieved by being… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
